Have you ever been Bullied? Part three of three parts

"Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim." -Elie Wiesel

I stopped watching all news programs a few years ago when I served on a jury in a capital murder trial.  It was ordered by the judge and I found that I was happier without the daily dose of bad news hitting my ears and heart.  So, I never started watching again.  I figured that as long as I read a little of the news on my Internet home page and heard about anything really big from friends and family, I was just fine. 

That is until this last Wednesday when I stopped in at the blog 37 days.  I hadn't been able to catch up on many blogs over several days, so when I checked in on this one, I read back several days worth of postings.  When I got to this one, I was slammed in the gut with sorrow for the children and their families and rage at the bullies and the people who stood by and did nothing to help these children.  Please be sure you go read the blog posting I have linked above.  I am not nearly as articulate as the author of 37 days and I feel that this is an extremely important subject.  There are links to articles and stories about eight different children who have taken their lives as a result of bullying.  The children range in age from 11 to 18 and each of them was bullied because of perceived sexual orientation.  Each of them committed suicide because of the bullying.  I had not heard of any of this before reading it on the blog.  I was totally unaware that this was happening!  I felt that I owed it to each of these young people to read the articles and stories about them.  So, I did.  I also signed the petition to the Secretary of Education (I ask you to follow your heart and do the same) asking for sexual orientation and gender identity in anti-bullying programs.

If you think that this does not touch your children or grandchildren,nieces and nephews, you are wrong.  It doesn't matter what sexual orientation a child is.  Every child deserves to be happy and safe in school and deserves to get a good education.  They deserve to have adults protect them.  A bully will pick on any child that is different.  They will find the one that is quiet and artistic, that speaks with an accent, this is autistic, that is bookish and nerdy.  They will find the child that wears braces or glasses or that is new to the school.  They will find the child who has a hard time making friends, for whatever reason.  Bullies are relentless.  Bullies are bullies and they must be stopped.  It is not "kids just being kids".  Kids are dying because of this and it has to stop!

I have continued to check in on 37 days since finding that posting.  On the 7th, she had a link to The Proper Care & Feeding of Your Homosexual.  I read that too and I think you should also.   

When I logged on to get to the blog today, going through my centurylink home page, there was an article on 4 teen suicides in one Ohio school!  I read part of the article before feeling ill and wanting to scream.  I got to the part where the mother of the most recent girl who had killed herself was talking about the kids who had bullied her.  They had actually come to the funeral and laughed at the way the girl looked in the casket!  What is wrong with these kids?  What is wrong with the parents of these kids to have raised kids such as these?  It makes me absolutely ill to think of them!  What has happened to compassion and empathy?  I'm so very concerned for our Country. 


"We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people." -Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.



I honestly don't know know what to do about this horribly huge problem.  I do know that I am going to go back and make sure that I have read every single thing that is linked in the posts I've mentioned on the 37 days blog so that I can learn more.  I'm going to check out Ellen's blog which I know is linked on on 37 days to learn even more.  I'm going to be watching my local and national news coverage more.  I'm going to speak up when I hear a joke that is homophobic, racist, sexist or in some other way hurtful.  I'm going to write letters to the producers (authors and sponsors) when I see those types of jokes on TV or in film because I don't think they are OK any longer.  Actually, I never thought they were OK, but I was one of the ones who just kept quiet.  I'm ashamed that I did and I won't any longer.  I'm going to step in if I see someone being bullied and I'm going to talk to my son and granddaughters about bullies also.  I will raise my voice here on my blog.  I will sign petitions.  I will let me friends on facebook know how I feel.  These are my first steps to help in this situation.  What are you going to do? 

I Am Home

I've actually been home almost a week. I can't begin to tell you how good it is to be home. We arrived at midnight. It was dark, humid and the air was full of sound. I loved it! Frogs, cicadas, crickets, you name it -- they all just washed over us. It was a perfect homecoming.




I love my son. I love my grandchildren.
I would not trade one minute I spent with them over the last three months. Even the difficult minutes. And there were many of them, for both them and for me. (I'll go back to them if I'm needed, but I'm in no hurry.) Life is damn hard when a loved one dies. When two die within 12 days of each other, it's almost unbearable in many ways. Just putting one foot in front of the other while dealing with the day to day challenges of life is unbelievably hard.




Dealing with Teresa's loss while taking care of my grandchildren
was just too difficult. I have not grieved properly for her. I don't know if I ever will be able to. I have this defence mechanism of locking my grief (fear, rage, whatever it is at the time) into a little room inside me. I have yet to figure out where the room is -- in my brain or my heart -- I don't know. Once something is locked in, I don't really know how to take it out again to work on it. Let's just say, I'll need many, many hours of therapy to take care of it, more than likely. Until then, I'm home and I am happy to be here.

All the News that is Fit to Print

Quite honestly there isn't a lot of news that is fit to print from here today. Of course there isn't much news that isn't fit to print either. I've spent the last couple of days making sure my entry for the Dallas Quilt Celebration (show) was "legal" and ready to go tomorrow. Sometime last night I realized that I didn't make sure that "Rage" was all cleaned of fuzz and dog hair before I sent it off. Being a quilt with a black background, that could mean trouble. I can only hope that if Judy notices that it's a mess, she'll take pity on me and clean it up a little or that everyone will think it was an artistic statement.

Thursday is "Preview Night" for members and their families and entrants. I've gone to it for years. It's a great time to take a photo of the quilts without someone standing in front of it. It will also be my 32 wedding anniversary. Hubby is not planning to attend the quilt festivities. We'll celebrate later.

As for today, I went to my first physical therapy session for my knee. She just poked and prodded and twisted and jerked on it today. It hurts, but I think the real fun will start on Monday. Apparently I have a problem with the meniscus in my right knee. She thought that was the problem and she went on to prove it. She had wicked, mean thumbs.

I'll report about the quilt show later in the week, if I have the energy. Last year, I saw bluebonnets on my drive in to the show. I don't think that will happen this year, but if it does, I'll let you know.

It Makes me a Little Sad

I haven't posted much lately. I've been trying to figure out how to handle my new routine since hubby got his new job. At first I was sleeping fairly late because I wasn't sleeping much at night. This week I finally seem to be settling in to a more daytime friendly schedule. I've gotten up at 7 for the last couple of mornings and it feels right. I'm in bed by midnight, if I need to be or not. Sometimes I sleep, sometimes I don't. I think that's just an age thing and I'll probably get used to it a few decades from now when it finally stops.

I've been working on my projects for the Dallas Quilt Celebration that takes place March 12 - 14 at Market Hall in Dallas, Texas. I put a label on Rage, so it's completed and ready to send off.

I had lost the binding fabric that I had set aside for Happy, so I looked for it or the scraps from the quilt for about three days before totally giving up on them. After looking through every box of fabric that I own, I found three fabrics to try out for the binding. I picked one of them, that as it happened, I really like and I bound it. Then I put a label on it and a hanging sleeve. But -- I'm not happy with Happy any longer. She's wavy! I'm usually pretty careful with the technical stuff, but that wasn't my focus on this quilt. I was experimenting and playing with color -- with fabrics. I wanted to be free! I wanted to whack and sew. I pretty much did everything I wanted to do, but even as I did it, I thought I would end up with a quilt that would be technically fine also. I didn't pay any attention to straight of grain or bias although I'm pretty sure I didn't cut anything on the true bias, it looks like I didn't cut everything on the straight of grain either. It's not so off the straight of grain that it shows that it was done on purpose. It looks like an accident. Like a lack of skill. That's it. It should have been made more purposefully curved instead of haphazardly wavy. It looks like I don't know what I'm doing and I'm not happy with that look for the edges of my quilt. I still like the colors and layout and I like the binding I ended up with.

Now, I need to concentrate on the miniature quilt I'll donate to the live auction that will take place on the 13th during the show. I have one almost complete that I took the quilting out of because I didn't like the way it was looking and I have one that was barely started. I'm sure one will go to the show auction and then the other will be auctioned here on my blog for Haiti. I'll tell you more about that later.

None of this is what makes me a little sad though. I'm a little sad because Captain Phil Harris of Deadliest Catch died today. I like that show and I enjoyed watching him on it. I'll miss him.

Kantha Stitching

Kantha is a type of stitching that I first saw on the blog, Spirit Cloth written by Jude Hill. I've attempted it myself on a couple of my small art quilts. Rage and Black Cat both have my variation of kantha stitching on them. I had wanted to use kantha for Thou Shall Not Steal Pecans, but I had trouble with the batting bearding through to the front of the quilt. I used Mountain Mist 100% cotton batting in that quilt, which is a perfectly wonderful batting to hand quilt with traditional quilting thread. I apparently needed a batting with a scrim for kantha stitching on that particular fabric because it was a little more loosely woven than what I normally use. That's why I think the Warm and Natural batting will work for kantha and that wonderful hand dyed fabric by Marcia Derse. It has a thin scrim. I'm excited to think of the possibilities! I will let you know how it goes as soon as I know.

Kari, thank you for the kantha link.

Today's Art Everyday Posting Day 5

I finished RAGE today! This isn't the best photo. I may try to take another one tomorrow during the day light hours.

I made this quilt in an effort to work through some rough times and feelings. The heart is all cracked and broken, but holding together. The other wound is where I felt that I was kicked in the stomach by the things that filled me with rage.

This little quilt (12" square) if made only of fabric. There is no batting in it. I ripped and cut each piece of fabric too. I wanted the fabric to show the pain I was in at the time. Even the binding has cuts in it. I have sewn up the holes in the backing black fabric with large obvious stitches to represent surgical stitches of old and sewn the cuts in the binding in basically the same way. Click the photo to see the quilt in a larger photo.

Art Every Day, Day 4

I have nothing to show you today, but I can tell you what I did. I worked on my RAGE quilt which I hope to finish binding tomorrow. Then I'll post a photo of the completed quilt. If you'd like to check out the other participants, click this link.

I also ordered greeting cards and some new (sample) business cards from a few of my photographs. That was really fun! I can't wait to get them.

More tomorrow.

Art Every Day!

This didn't feel like a very artistic day for me. I did take several photographs and I did try to be as creative in them as possible. I also worked just a tiny bit on my RAGE quilt. I'm ready to bind it now and I've finally decided to bind it traditionally. I'm not going to show it to you again until it is complete though. Maybe tomorrow or some other day this week. Until tomorrow....

Now and This Week

I'm going to be out of town at the end of the week so I'll be posting my photo of the week early. I'm going to the Houston Quilt Festival!



I've got a lot of things to do before I leave early Wednesday morning to meet my momma and sister for my dear momma's 70th birthday celebration. We're going to lunch at a restaurant that has a reputation for being haunted! Mom and I love stuff like that.



It's also my hubby's birthday. He totally understands me not being home to celebrate with him so that I can be there to celebrate with momma. He and I will celebrate his birthday when I return. We were going to celebrate his birthday before I left, but our water is funky tasting and smelling right now and I think it would ruin the chicken for frying, so the celebration has been put on hold. That is one of the occasional drawbacks to living in a rural area. Our water gets nasty at times.



It would have also been my dad's birthday. He would have been 71 this year. Yes, you read that right, all of them -- my husband and both parents share the same birthday.



As for other updates on my life, I'm doing really good now. After a lot of work, with a counselor and alone, I've been able to forgive both friends who had hurt me so badly at the end of August. I've told the friend in person who lives locally and mailed a letter to the friend who lives out of state. I have decided that even though I've forgiven the person that is out of state, I no longer want that person in my life, so they are actually a former friend. I'm happy again! So happy in fact that I'm having trouble figuring out how to finish the miniature quilt that I had started to work out some of my Rage on. I had started to embroider the word rage, but now I think I'll take that out and just do the quilting I had planned to. I'll still title it Rage though.

A Little Preview

I've started a new miniature quilt. A little therapy, so to speak. The finished piece will only be around 12 or 12 and a half inches square. I'm calling this "RAGE".

The fabrics in the top photo are layered between the black fabrics used for the back and front of the quilt. There is no traditional batting. I've stabbed, cut and ripped each of the fabrics that are used in this art quilt. That was very therapeutic and actually quite fun. (I may cut a lot of therapeutic fabric in the coming weeks!) It was especially fun watching the faces of the people around me while I did the cutting. I was in a miniature quilt class at the time. Most of the folks who saw me were just horrified!

I haven't made all the decisions concerning this quilt yet. Don't know exactly how I'll bind it. Could be traditional or it could be cut up so that it will eventually fray or it could be something else altogether. I may tack some of the cut fabric pieces open to show the "wound" inside. You can see the area I'm talking about in the bottom photo (to the left of the heart) although the pieces are closed for now. I'll also quilt it with embroidery floss in the same manner that I quilted the Black Cat mini I made last year. More than likely using the same colors as the fabrics used.

What do you think of the crackle heart? The fabric already had the crackle print on it, but I darkened it with a fabric pen to show my broken heart holding together. Click on the photos to enlarge them so that you can see details more clearly.