Sunday, March 28, 2010

My Daughter-in-law







My daughter-in-law, M, was declared brain dead and died on March 26. She is an organ donor -- of her heart, kidneys and liver. She has helped save the lives of others and bring comfort to their families and friends with her passing. It is a tremendous gift from her and her family. I am greatly comforted myself by this extremely generous, special gift of life they have bestowed on other families at this time.

We were told that there is a special float in the Rose parade each year dedicated to organ donors. My son and his children will be able to go put a rose in the float and a photo of M on it, if they want to each year. I will be sure to watch the parade from now on.

I cannot begin to express my gratitude for the Air Force family my son has. For the Red Cross and for our family and my own friends. Everyone has helped us in so many ways that are truly appreciated.

The girls are taking the news as you would expect them to --hard and seemingly well at times. It all pretty much comes in waves for all of us, but especially them. They need a lot of attention right now. Their son, who is autistic, is acting up some. He only understands that momma is not here and that something is very wrong and everything is different. He knows and loves me, so that helps.

To be honest, I don't know what else to say right now. One of my friends described M as a "tortured soul". I believe this is a correct and accurate way to describe her over the last years of her life, maybe her whole life. I'm grateful that she is no longer in pain. M loved her children with all of her being. I know this. She never intentionally hurt them in any way. I hope that she rests in peace and that her children, husband and family will also find peace and comfort.

1 comment:

Tracey said...

What a beautiful way to express your grief; thanks for sharing all of you feelings. I just mentioned something re: autism in your other post. my son would be the same way; believe me - i can relate when you say he knows & loves you. it's so important for them to have routine & structure. Prayers for all of them & you :-(