Sunday, October 26, 2008

Happy Music

Last night, my hubby ran out of hot water during his shower. This was odd since he knows where everything is at this point in his life and doesn't have a lot of hair left to wash. He just doesn't take long showers. So, that gave us two options. Either the circuit breaker to the hot water heater had tripped or the water heater itself was full of sand. That had happened once before; hot water heater full of sand. Not fun. It's extremely heavy and difficult to get out of the closet it's in when that happens. I could just see the plumbing bill and the money headed down the proverbial drain. Needless to say, I had my fingers crossed for that tripped circuit breaker! Should have been very easy to find out and just flip that thing back into place if that was the problem. Well......

I don't know if you've ever been truly depressed. Clinical, needing medication, depressed. I was shortly after my father died, many years ago. It was something I hope to never sink that far into again. I didn't care about anything. I just wanted to rest. So much so that I thought of driving into a bridge embankment in order to get some. The problem with that idea was that it could very well kill me too. I didn't want that. I had a son to raise. I got help before then. Anyway, I was never that fond of house cleaning to begin with and our house is in the country with lots of dirt and dust and stuff. So, when the depression hit, I did even less than I had been doing. For a very long time, I just did what I needed to do to live here and take care of the basic needs of my family. I'd wash the dishes (no dish washer) and wash the clothes and occasionally clean the bathroom. Who cares about a little dust, right?

I was also a collector back then. I had all kinds of collections. I loved every one of them. Right up until I needed to dust them. I slowly started to sell or give away my collections. I was sick of the dust and I had discovered my allergies by then. I had started to recycle my magazines, mail and aluminum cans. I was getting stuff out of the house that I didn't need or use, to some degree. The problem was that my hubby was as bad, if not worse, than I was. Every time a package came in the mail, he saved the box. Why? I don't know. We seldom reused them. And for some reason, he never looked through his mail. Grrrr! So, there were piles of it. I could go on, but I won't. He's a good man and I love him, but he is a man and has his faults like all men and all women for that matter.

Every once in a while, I'd want to spring clean or autumn clean and I'd take a look around and realize that I hadn't gotten rid of nearly as much as I had thought I had. The thought of tackling the whole place, after so many years of not caring, has been overwhelming. We live in a very small house and we have STUFF everywhere. It's horrible. I keep expecting the board of health or Oprah and a camera crew to show up at any minute. I live in fear that someone will just drop by for a visit. So, I decided to take it pretty much one room at a time and not think about the others until that one was finished. Of course just starting that one room is sometimes a big step.

So, last night when my hubby ran out of hot water, I knew I'd have to work on the office today. You see, there were so many empty boxes stacked up in front of the closet, that we couldn't get to the circuit box! So, I put on my happy music and got to work. It took a couple of hours of emptying and breaking down boxes before I finally got in there. The circuit breaker had indeed tripped. I have no idea why, but I do know that I will always be able to get to it in the future. Things are changing around here and they will stay changed. It's going to take a while, but this place will eventually shine like a copper penny and when it does, I'm having a big party!

I had to stop the cleaning for today until I can go donate, recycle and take things to the dump. I did take a "before" picture and when it's all finished, I'll post it with the "after" picture. It will be very embarrassing for me, but I'm hoping it will also be incentive not to ever let it happen again. Oh, by the way, I'm still on medication for depression, but I'm hopeful that one day, I'll be able to stop taking it. Positive change!

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