Love Story and other loves

Today, Ali MacGraw is on the Oprah show.  Of course the movie Love Story came up.  I remember seeing that in my youth.  I also remember when Ali's character uttered the famous line "Love means never having to say you're sorry.".  I also remember even then, at the tender age of 10 or so (it came out in 1970 when I was 10) thinking bullshit!  Love is work.  Love is -- if you mess up, you damn well better apologize and mean it.  You better change your ways.  You better not need to apologize again for the same thing.  To me, that particular line is the most idiotic one ever written in a movie or a book (because it was indeed a book first -- written by Erich Segal).  I'll admit that I have not read every book or watched every movie, so there could indeed be a more idiotic sentence out there, but this is my choice.  I'll also admit that I loved the movie back then.  I cried when the movie ended and I've only seen the movie once.  (The photo is of a blob of tar in a parking lot.  Looks like a heart to me.  So, of course I had to take a photo of it.  I'm finding more and more of them since my sister passed.)

I got pictures of my granddaughters yesterday.  They got new hair cuts and I think they look darling.  Granddaughter #1 has wanted to have bangs like her younger sister, but she has a cowlick like her gramma.  So, she finally figured out how to do it.  She got bangs on only one side.  I was worried about what this would look like, but it looks great!

Granddaughter #2 is just precious too.  I love her red hair.  Love, love, love it. 

I also got some great postal love today.  From my friend Tracey (!) and postcrossing! First, I feel that I owe Tracey a public apology.  I think I've been misspelling her name this whole time!  I think I've been leaving the "e" out each time I've written her or written about her.  If I have indeed done that Tracey, I'm very sorry.  Second, a public thank you since I'm posting about your sweet gift!  Thank you!  You shouldn't have, but it was so sweet and I'm so glad you did.  I love the photo card you made!  It is wonderful.  Such great fall color.  I can only dream about color like that here in Texas.  Loved the cheerful stationary, the supportive card and the book is right up my ally.  Thank you so much for the wonderful surprise!

The postcard is from San Diego and shows a local lighthouse   -- the Cabrillo National Monument.  I've loved lighthouses since we lived in Biloxi, Mississippi for 4 years while my husband was stationed at Keesler in the Air Force early in our marriage.  Our son was born there.  Found memories. 


The tiny heart rock is one I found when I got home from visiting my mom this afternoon. 

This last photo is a postcard that I'm sending to someone here in the United States.  It is one of a few that I have purchased.  This person asked for a postcard with a recipe and I just happened to have one, but not on a photo postcard that I had taken.  Thought you might like to see it.  I have not tried the recipe.  If you try it, let me know if you like it.

New Post Cards, a Book, a Heart Rock and a new Project

I found another heart rock in my walk way yesterday on my way to the car to go to Dallas to sew with my mini group friends.  I picked it up, scraped off the mud (we've had a little rain lately) and dropped it in my basket to take with me.  I remembered to show it to only one friend while there, Andrea.  I photographed it on one of the postcards -- it's in the last photo.  I saw this heart shaped cloud while driving home from Dallas and sewing.

While there, I started a new project.  I've been wanting to make a "grief" quilt for some months now.  I asked if anyone could remember the stages of grief and Shelley and Andrea both got online and found them for me.  Andrea's website had 7 stages: 1. denial/shock, 2. pain/guilt, 3. anger/bargaining, 4. depression/loneliness/reflection, 5. upward turn, 6. reconstruction/working through, 7. acceptance/hope.  Shelley printed out the 5 stages that I am more familiar with: 1. denial, 2. anger/resentment, 3. bargaining, 4. depression, 5 acceptance.

I decided to go with the 5 stages that Shelley found and possibly throw in a little of Andrea's findings also because I didn't want the fabrics to be too think to sew.  I found fabrics to represent the different stages of grief for me.  For "denial" I used the orange and grey originally, but that wasn't really enough.  I later added the purples they are on the top of the quilt, thanks to Maxine and Kari for suggesting it needed diagonal movement and purple.  Everything on top of the red, represents "denial and shock".  Red represents "anger", the next fabric is a blue with red and blue freckles (or dots) which represents bargaining, then the black is for "depression" and finally the yellow peeking through is for "hope and acceptance".  I'm not there yet, but I'm hopeful that I will be one day.

As you can see the top fabrics are ripped and woven through each other.  They are very confusing, just like the feelings in the beginnings of grief.  The denial and the shock are so confusing, my very fiber feels ripped apart at times.  I had not trimmed the quilt to the point that it's at in this photo when I had taken it over to a part of the quilt shop that has all the thread.  I was looking for black and grey and maybe a dark purple.  An older woman saw my quilt at that point and said "oh what a mess!".   I turned to her and thanked her.  I told her it that it represents grief.  She said "Grace?"  "No," I said "grief.".  She said "Greece?"  "No, grief as in someone has died and I am grieving for them".  At which point she just looked at me with disdain and confusion and her friend dragged her away.  She just could not comprehend a quilt that was not of a traditional making/pattern/design.  That's OK.  Someday she may feel like ripping fabric and remember my "mess" and give herself permission.   

I've already stitched a broken heart into the quilt.  I plan to stitch tears into it at some point, but other than that, I'll just stitch and see what happens.  I don't know if it will be donated to the Quilter's Guild of Dallas' live mini auction in March or if I'll put it in the show.  Right now, the only thing I know for sure about it is that is not messy enough. 

My momma sent me a book that I got in yesterday's mail.  It's Making Toast by Roger Rosenblatt.  She said in her letter to me "It is amazing how it applied to both of our lives this terrible year."  She also said she felt that she was guided to the yard sale that had it.  I agree.  I loved every word of this book.  I read it very quickly and I plan to reread it again soon.  Then I may return it to momma and buy another one for myself, so that we can both have a copy.  It just feels like we'll need it.  I don't know. 











I've got some postcrossing postcards to share with you too.  The first is from Louisiana and is of the Superdome.  I didn't know the facts that are listed on the front of the card.  Fun.  Click on the photo if you want to read them yourself. 

The next one is from Spain and shows the Ebro River. 

Then I got a surprise card from a young woman that I had sent a card to in the past.  She didn't need to send me a card in response or as a thank you, but she did.  Very sweet.  It shows a fountain in St. Petersburg, Russia. 

The last one I have to show you today actually came in an envelope!  Also from Russia.  It shows a lovely hotel and speaks of hot air balloon rides!  That would be so nice.  Isn't the envelope pretty?  I love the stamps too. 

I found another Heart Rock!

I couldn't believe it! I was coming home from the post office.

I've been thinking a lot about my sister Teresa the last week. The last couple of weeks. Heck, the last -- almost 5 months now, since she passed so suddenly. I had gone to the post office twice today. I hadn't been to the post office at all this week. I've been in a funk and I haven't left the house. What can I say? I'm not really depressed, but I would much rather watch movies or work on sudoku puzzles right now than just about anything else on earth. OK, I'll leave the puzzles and movies to see my momma, son, grandkids and my best friends and maybe some members of my extended family, but not just anyone.

So, I go to the post office to get the mail and with the main objective of mailing my nephew S's birthday card. It just happens to be S's birthday -- today! Which means the card is already late. "S" is Teresa's youngest son. And I have a heck of a time remembering his birthday during a good year. This is not a good year.

So, I get home from the post office and I go in the house, look in my purse and there is S's birthday card! Damn! So, I grab up some of the postcards I'd had made to show the post office clerk and I head back to the post office. When I get there, I mail S's birthday card before anything else. Then I chat with Debbie about moo.com's postcards and show her the one of my son and grandkids. Then I show her as many as I can, until another customer comes in. Debbie loves postcards! Then I head home.

As I get home, for the second time, after finally mailing S's birthday card -- I find another heart shaped rock. This time in the walkway to the house.






I didn't put all that together at the time. It wasn't until I was sitting here writing this that I did that. I did think that Teresa was the guide to it though, from the beginning.

Although, after my oldest granddaughter called tonight, I'm not so sure. It may have been her mother M. She died 12 days before Teresa. My oldest granddaughter is having a very hard time with her mother's death. It has only been 5 months, but she seems so much worse now than earlier. I'm very concerned about her. I told her about finding the rock and how it was possible that her momma's spirit had helped me find it for her. That I'm going to give it to her when I get to see her this weekend and I want her to hold it when she's thinking of her momma. Dear Lord, I hope it helps. I hope I can help her. If Teresa is the one who really helped me find it. I know she'll be OK with this. She was heartsick over these kids losing their mom. They are all younger than her kids. It's a crappy situation for all six of these kids from these two families. Period.