Happenings on Chaos Ranch

Please Follow Me Over to My Blog on Wordpress

2010-10-17T13:16:00.000-05:00

https://happeningsonchaosranch.wordpress.com/ I've just had it with blogger and all the fits, stops and starts of their new system. I'm sure it will be great when it's got all the bugs out, but I am trying to make my life as stress free as possible. All of my posts are over on Wordpress now and I'll be adding more there as the time progresses. Please come there to see me. I will miss you if you don't.

Harvest Moon

2010-10-17T11:51:00.000-05:00

Another great thing about October is the harvest moon! So huge and yellow looking! So beautiful and bright. So romantic. When I'm outside during the full moon in October, I just can't take my eyes off of it. I can see the "man in the moon" that I used to hear about in story books as a child. I can imagine why people thought it was made of cheese, but then I wonder, was that story books too or did they really think that? I think of what a blessing it was and is to farmers bringing in the last of their harvests by it. What a God send it is.

At some point in the night though, I always end up needing to go to sleep. I live in the country. In a rural area where it is so wonderfully quiet and dark -- except when there is a full moon. The harvest moon in October is the absolute worst for trying to sleep! I have shades on my windows and that sucker finds a little crack to sneak through and lights up the room as if it's spot lighted! You can't get away from it. No matter what side you sleep on -- there it is. I finally had to get a sleep mask. That works well enough. Peace and harmony have been brought back into my sleeping life during the full moons. I can once again love all things about the lovely harvest moon in October and just enjoy it's immense full beauty.

A Little Fall Color and Some Hearts

2010-10-17T07:34:00.001-05:00

I didn't get to really talk much about the things that went on yesterday in yesterday's post. I had planned to, but I started talking about Max and then just couldn't stop. So, here is pretty much what I would have written if I had not gotten carried away about my former pets and the one I wish I had now.

October 16th is the birthday of an old elementary school friend. Her name is Lisa and I haven't actually seen her in -- oh probably 20 years or so. Haven't even talked to her in that long. But I do remember her birthday and think of her fondly each year on her birthday. I'm sure the only reason I would ever forget it is if I were to get Alzheimer's in the future.

On my way to help my momma with her yard sale yesterday, I spotted a great heart shaped rock in my walkway! I keep meaning to photograph them where I find them, but I'm so excited when I see them, that I always forget and grab them up! This one was sitting right up on top of all the other rocks and gravel in the walkway. Even faced so that it looked exactly like a heart to me. I don't know how I could have missed it before.

Momma sat down and visited a little more during the sale yesterday. The shoppers were less frequent, but all in all her sale was a pretty good one I think. Lovie cat visited while I was there and I was able to get photos of her. Scroll down to yesterday's post if you want to see them.

I did leave early so that I could watch the Rangers beat the Yankees in game two of the American League Championship Series -- which they did! Final score was 7 to 2. Hurray! The next three games will be extra tough because they'll be played in NY. The Yankees won the first game in TX 6 to 5. It's a best of seven series. The last two games will be played in TX, if the Rangers manage to beat the Yankees at home during their three games there. I've got my fingers crossed already and it sure is hard to type that way.

On my drive home, I found a couple of little spots of fall color.

I ran by the post office and picked up a shipment of two books I'd ordered. Four Word Self Help and Creative Is A Verb are both by Patti Digh who has the blog 37 Days. I've read just a few pages of the self help one so far and I - am - in - love - with it! Such common sense and fun! The artwork is also done by her blog readers. Really cool, huh?

As I neared the post office, I noticed the clouds were awfully pretty. Then I looked again and saw that the white clouds left a blue heart "space". It wasn't as defined by the time I got to stop and photograph it, but I stopped and photographed it anyway. In the photo, I can see other things. What can you see? Click to enlarge and then leave me a comment to tell me what you see, please.

*** I'm having a lot of trouble with blogger and am thinking seriously of taking my blog to another server. Are any of you having problems with blogger? I can't stay logged on and I have to log on every single time I want to add a photo to my posting (a minimum of 5 times for this post!). It's quite frustrating! Believe me, if I do this, I will leave a link for you to follow. I don't want to lose you!

Cats and Such

2010-10-16T16:51:00.006-05:00

Here is the cat I told you about yesterday. I've dubbed       "her" a her and              "Lovie", because I don't know her sex and she has a heart on her side. I want to catch her, tame her and bring her to my home. Now, I know that is not the conventional thought on feral cats nowadays, but my best and most favorite cat was indeed a feral cat that we adopted from this very property back in the early 1980's when my father lived here.

My hubby and son came down to visit daddy one day when I had to work. Sometime, fairly late that night, they come home and woke me up by sticking a cat in my face and saying hello to me. I almost screamed! In fact, I may have screamed. Max was not a very pretty cat when you first looked at her. She was solid white except for a black ear and a black tail with a few stray white hairs in it. She looked like she had been dipped in black paint. What made her look so unusual was her yellow eyes.

She had been hanging around my dad's place, killing the song birds and my dad had threatened to shoot her. Hubby couldn't stand the thought of explaining that to our son, who was only 3 or 4 at the time.  So, he said he'd bring her home and she let him!

Yes, she was indeed a real "she" and I did name her Max. If you insist on a female name for a female cat, then her full name was -- first name - Maxine (a favorite aunt's middle name) first middle name - Maximilian (because it was one of the only Max names I could think of) second middle name - Maxwell (after my first eye doctor who was really sweet) and I called her Max for short.

When we got her, Max was expecting kittens. As soon as possible, after she had them, we had her spayed. We also got a German Shepherd dog puppy around the time that her kittens were weaned and given away. Max adopted the GSD puppy Lady and always treated her as one of her own. You should have seen the two of them together! This tiny, petite cat would pop out her claws and grab hold of Lady's upper lip/whiskers area and pull her head down so that she could reach her face to groom her. Lady never acted as if Max hurt her in the least. She was always patient with Max and would often give her a big dog lick as a thank you. I loved seeing them together.

Max seldom meowed. We thought she was mute until she was in hard labor delivering her kittens. Even after that, she only meowed a couple of times. We had her for many years. She had lived a very hard life before coming to us and had lost most of her teeth by then even though she was a young cat at the time. Lady lived more years than Max and always missed her little mother. I miss them both. I miss having a cat in my home. I don't think I ever took any photos of the two together and I have very few, if any of them apart. If I come across any, I'll let you know.

What's Up Today?

2010-10-15T19:31:00.000-05:00

Today, is my dear Aunt Joan's birthday! It's one of the decade one's. I wish I could have been with her and given her a hug today. I love you Aunt Joan! When I was a kid, I called my Aunt Joan, Fanny Farkle. I don't know why. I called my momma, Lady Fish during the same time period. They were both good sports. Forgive me if I've told you that before.

Today, I found out that my dear friend Catherine became a great-grandmother again (for the second time) yesterday -- on every body's birthday. I believe she said they named the little girl child Hailey. Very pretty. I told her if she ever forgot when the little one's birthday was, I'd be able to help out.

Today, I helped my dear momma with her yard sale. It would have been my yard sale too, if I had ever gotten my rear in gear and gathered up some things to sell, but I didn't. The weather was wonderful for being outdoors! I took photos of the tree I was sitting under.

And of a plant that has cool purple berries and chartruse leaves every fall. I should know the name of it by now, but I don't. I saw a feral cat who had a heart shaped pattern on her side (I kid you not!), but I couldn't get a shot of it. I'm taking my camera back tomorrow and hoping that she'll come back while we're selling again.

At lunch, I found a heart shaped Lay's potato chip.

Later, during a slow period, I took a little walk around momma's yard. They had had to cut a tree down earlier in the spring. There were parts of the trunk cut into three large pieces. As I got closer to it, I could see that it was hollow in the center of the tree. I had forgotten that. I went to each end and looked inside. One end of one piece was heart shaped! I went around to the other end, it was a different shape on that end.

As I walked back to the heart shaped end, coming around the side, I noticed that from the side, the heart shape looks like a butterfly. So, now, I see both at the same time. Can you see both, or only one? Which one?

Happy Birthday to You and You (and you)!

2010-10-14T07:04:00.004-05:00

For 18 of the last 33 years, I was torn in three directions on this day. Unless my dad was out of state working that is and there was no possibility of seeing him. For the last 15 years, I've only been torn in two directions. Today is my momma's birthday and my hubby's birthday and it was my daddy's birthday also. My daddy passed 15 years ago. Fortunately, this year, I'm not torn at all. My momma is at her lake house, which is just over 5 miles from my house and I will be able to spend some time with both of the birthday loved ones in my life on their special day today.

This year, if I had had to choose, I would have picked being with my momma hands down, without a second thought or much of an apology. This is her first birthday since the death of my sister. It could be hard for her. The first "milestones" are hard after a death. I couldn't be with her on my sister's birthday because I was still in California waiting with my son for his orders to move to a base closer to his family. It seemed to take forever to get those orders! I was very upset and emotional over being there at that time. I wanted to be here in Texas where I felt that I could do some good, even if I really couldn't. I wanted to hug my momma and tell her in person that I love her. Today, I'll be able to do that. I am so very glad.

I'm really very lucky. I've always had a great relationship with my momma. She is patient and kind. She has always tried to help us whenever she can. We often tell her she's "going to get splinters in her butt from sitting on that fence". She did this instead of taking sides in the arguments Teresa and I would have. She did occasionally try to explain my sister to me and I'm sure she tried to explain me to her. She didn't get in the middle. She was great at making us both feel like we were equally loved. It takes a special person to do that, I think. Maybe it just takes a good parent. All I know, is that she's been one. I could go on, but I'll save some for another time. I don't want to make her cry today, if I can help it. I love you, Momma. See you soon.

As for my hubby -- Happy Birthday to you too Hon. We've been through more than our share of "to hell and back" I think. I'm proud that we're still giving it our best shot. I'm glad you can still make me laugh better than any man alive. I still love to hear your laugh. You can still give me chills. And I'm happy. I hope you have a great year and that we have a better year together with each passing year. I love you.

Why Do You Blog?

2010-10-13T14:27:00.001-05:00

I started my blog as an online journal of sorts. A way to tell stories about my life so that my grandchildren would more fully know me one day. I wanted to put the blog into a book for them so that they could hold it in their hands and read things that I had forgotten to tell them through the years. The little trivial things that make up a life. That make a life real.

Now, I find that I blog because I have to. I have to write. I've always wanted to write. I've always enjoyed writing. I tried to take a creative writing class in college one time. I failed miserably. I could not bring myself to open up and write about the painful things I had been through at that point in my life and I hadn't lived long enough to have many interesting or joyful experiences to share. I had been through a lot of crap in my youth. So, I dropped out of the class.

Later, I joined a large quilt guild and after a while, I volunteered to be on the board in the community service vice president position. As a board member, I had to write a monthly column for the guild newsletter. I found that I was good at it. I got a lot of compliments for my writing of it too. Of all of my duties as a board member, I found that I enjoyed the writing the most. Even more than helping the children that the guild helped.

Now, I'm not that great at flowery words or even amazingly descriptive words that can put you in the moment and make you say "ahhhh", but I can write and make you feel like I'm there talking to you. I guess that's my "style". That's what I do. I wish, at times, that I was a more creative writer. I wish I could write fiction. (Then again, maybe I can. I've never really tried.) Wouldn't be wonderful to be one of those few people in the world who sits down one day and writes a novel? Just has to write it and then sends it off and it is purchased right then and there? And - it - is - a - hit? What a dream, fantasy!

If you blog, why do you do it? I'm curious.

I know that I can't stop. One day, you all will know every secret my heart and soul has -- because I feel them bursting at the seams needing to see the light of day. I feel the truth of ME needing to come all the way out so that if there is anyone out there who has been through the same things I've been through and is still suffering from it -- maybe I can help them just by telling them that I am here and I've been through it first and survived. So, if you log on one day and I'm talking about heavy stuff, remember that is why. I'm not trying to embarrass anyone -- especially not my family. I'm not trying to hurt anyone -- again, especially not in my family. But I am feeling more and more the need to own what is in my past, all of it. The things that have happened to me, the things I have done because of what has happened to me. The things that have led me to be who I am. Because when you get right down to it, every single day of what happens to you and that you live -- shapes you. I don't want to leave this world without my grandchildren knowing who I am. Remember this though. I am happy and I am enough. No matter how heavy I am. No matter how much grey is in my hair or how many smile lines I have. I love and I am loved. That is all I need.

How Many Times is She Going to Post Today?

2010-10-12T23:33:00.000-05:00

Well, to be honest, I'm not sure. This will be my third one. I'm guessing, in all honesty that it will be my last one for today as the hour is getting late. It's 11:07 PM Central time and it does take me a while to crank them out even if I'm rambling and running at the mouth, so it's very likely I'll run out of time to post anything after this one.

I wanted to share with you -- something else today that has me excited! First of all, I woke up today happy, truly happy for the first time in a very long time. Truly, completely, unadulterated happy! For no reason at all -- I was happy. I feel that this is a very good sign, considering all that I've been through in the last -- oh, more than two years. Life goes on. Death happens. Relationships change. The light at the end of the tunnel is not always a train. I got up. I dressed and went out to run errands. I visited my momma and her Bob. I came home and took care of some things here. I spent time on the phone with my dear friend Catherine and each of my granddaughters. Then I got to watch the Rangers clinch their play off spot against the Rays. Now, I'm looking forward to Friday and the game against the New York Yankees. My happiness is good news, but this is not the exciting thing I wanted to tell you about.

The exciting thing is that Aimee over at Artsyville is going to be having a list it Tuesday every Tuesday until she decides not to have it every Tuesday! Not only that, but this incredibly sweet, talented woman came over to my blog and left a comment on my post about my lists not being what I want them to be and invited me to participate! Well, if you've read my blog for any amount of time at all, you know you don't have to ask me twice to make a list! So, I'm in! Not only that, but if you want to make a list too, go on over and read about it and you can be in too! Doesn't that sound like fun, with -- like a capital F - U - N?

I tell you, I haven't even finished reading Aimee's posting about it, I was so excited that I had to stop everything and post here and invite you all and I had to make my little journal for my lists. You read that correctly. Aimee is hand writing her lists and I decided that I would too. And I have this brand spanking new RED moleskin journal that I'm going to use for it. So, I have started to decorate the front of it. Now, I am not nearly the artist that Aimee is and it is only started, but this is what it looks like. As I work on it in the weeks to come, I'll show you my lists and any artwork I do in it. Love, love, love. I am in a mood today.

On to the Second Round!!!!!

2010-10-12T22:14:00.001-05:00

MY Texas Rangers have just won the American League Division Series against the Tampa Bay Rays!!!! They will now go on to play the New York Yankees for the American League Championship Title! Whoever wins that series will play in the World Series! My Texas Rangers have never won a division series, but as we and they have been saying for many months now -- "IT'S TIME!". It's time we won the division series and we did -- OK, they did. Now it's time we win the championship title -- OK, they win. I think these fabulous men can do it! Woo hoo. It's time!

Love Story and other loves

2010-10-12T20:05:00.001-05:00

Today, Ali MacGraw is on the Oprah show. Of course the movie Love Story came up. I remember seeing that in my youth. I also remember when Ali's character uttered the famous line "Love means never having to say you're sorry.". I also remember even then, at the tender age of 10 or so (it came out in 1970 when I was 10) thinking bullshit! Love is work. Love is -- if you mess up, you damn well better apologize and mean it. You better change your ways. You better not need to apologize again for the same thing. To me, that particular line is the most idiotic one ever written in a movie or a book (because it was indeed a book first -- written by Erich Segal). I'll admit that I have not read every book or watched every movie, so there could indeed be a more idiotic sentence out there, but this is my choice. I'll also admit that I loved the movie back then. I cried when the movie ended and I've only seen the movie once. (The photo is of a blob of tar in a parking lot. Looks like a heart to me. So, of course I had to take a photo of it. I'm finding more and more of them since my sister passed.)

I got pictures of my granddaughters yesterday. They got new hair cuts and I think they look darling. Granddaughter #1 has wanted to have bangs like her younger sister, but she has a cowlick like her gramma. So, she finally figured out how to do it. She got bangs on only one side. I was worried about what this would look like, but it looks great!

Granddaughter #2 is just precious too. I love her red hair. Love, love, love it.

I also got some great postal love today. From my friend Tracey (!) and postcrossing! First, I feel that I owe Tracey a public apology. I think I've been misspelling her name this whole time! I think I've been leaving the "e" out each time I've written her or written about her. If I have indeed done that Tracey, I'm very sorry. Second, a public thank you since I'm posting about your sweet gift! Thank you! You shouldn't have, but it was so sweet and I'm so glad you did. I love the photo card you made! It is wonderful. Such great fall color. I can only dream about color like that here in Texas. Loved the cheerful stationary, the supportive card and the book is right up my ally. Thank you so much for the wonderful surprise!

The postcard is from San Diego and shows a local lighthouse -- the Cabrillo National Monument. I've loved lighthouses since we lived in Biloxi, Mississippi for 4 years while my husband was stationed at Keesler in the Air Force early in our marriage. Our son was born there. Found memories.

The tiny heart rock is one I found when I got home from visiting my mom this afternoon.

This last photo is a postcard that I'm sending to someone here in the United States. It is one of a few that I have purchased. This person asked for a postcard with a recipe and I just happened to have one, but not on a photo postcard that I had taken. Thought you might like to see it. I have not tried the recipe. If you try it, let me know if you like it.

Whatever Happened to all of Your Lists and Challenges?

2010-10-10T22:53:00.000-05:00

I was reading a list on a new friend's blog -- Far Away in the Sunshine -- when I realized I had done the same sort of list for my birthday and I didn't really know how I have done on it. So, I thought I'd take a moment to check in on some of the lists I've made and challenges I've set for myself. I know that I haven't come close to finishing even one of the ones I've listed on this blog. What I want to figure out is why haven't I? I'm usually pretty good with lists and you'd think that the public list making would make me want to finish each in a timely manner. So, I'm going to be reading them and trying to figure it out.

After some thinking and some rereading, I've come to the conclusion that the reason my lists on the blog aren't working is that they end up more of a "to-do" list than what I originally intend for them to be. Maybe this is because I rush the writing of the list or I lack imagination. As for the challenges, I think the photo challenge went fairly well. The 29 Gifts challenge was something I should have kept private. I continued it, but I did so in a private manner and on a smaller scale than what I blogged about. Part of the problem on some of the lists were that once I posted about them, they were easy to forget because they weren't front and center any longer. I can fix that in the future. The "to-do" list feel will take some work though. I know I will continue to post lists on this blog. I love lists. I will continue to do my best to finish them and probably not finish them all. Such is my life.

If you want to read the list that Anyes has written that prompted all of this thought of mine, click on her blog link (above) and read the October 6th, 2010 posting that starts with the quote from Pablo Picasso and says "It takes a long time to become young."

Listing the Essential

2010-10-10T12:44:00.000-05:00

Today the prompt word at Sunday Scribblings is "essential". I decided that the best way to deal with it would be to list what is essential to me today. Here is the list in no particular order:

To watch the Texas Rangers and the Tampa Bay Rays play their 4th playoff game and hopefully see the Rangers win at home and go to the next level.
To take a long hot shower and wash my hair
To dry the load of clothes in the washer and wash a load of towels and one load of hubby's clothes.
To eat at least two ice cream sandwiches
To curl up and read
To realize that if the only things I actually get done are the baseball game, eating the ice cream sandwiches and the reading, then that was all that was really essential today after all.

Quote for today

2010-10-09T15:09:00.000-05:00

“Death ends a life, not a relationship.” – Jack Lemmon.

I saw this quote on the blog 37 days in this amazing post. I had never realized how true that statement was, but oh my God is it ever true! I still have a relationship with my father, my friend Marianne and my sister Teresa. I talk to each of them often. They don't talk to me, but I do talk to them.

Have you ever been Bullied? Part three of three parts

2010-10-08T16:03:00.000-05:00

"Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim." -Elie Wiesel

I stopped watching all news programs a few years ago when I served on a jury in a capital murder trial. It was ordered by the judge and I found that I was happier without the daily dose of bad news hitting my ears and heart. So, I never started watching again. I figured that as long as I read a little of the news on my Internet home page and heard about anything really big from friends and family, I was just fine.

That is until this last Wednesday when I stopped in at the blog 37 days. I hadn't been able to catch up on many blogs over several days, so when I checked in on this one, I read back several days worth of postings. When I got to this one, I was slammed in the gut with sorrow for the children and their families and rage at the bullies and the people who stood by and did nothing to help these children. Please be sure you go read the blog posting I have linked above. I am not nearly as articulate as the author of 37 days and I feel that this is an extremely important subject. There are links to articles and stories about eight different children who have taken their lives as a result of bullying. The children range in age from 11 to 18 and each of them was bullied because of perceived sexual orientation. Each of them committed suicide because of the bullying. I had not heard of any of this before reading it on the blog. I was totally unaware that this was happening! I felt that I owed it to each of these young people to read the articles and stories about them. So, I did. I also signed the petition to the Secretary of Education (I ask you to follow your heart and do the same) asking for sexual orientation and gender identity in anti-bullying programs.

If you think that this does not touch your children or grandchildren,nieces and nephews, you are wrong. It doesn't matter what sexual orientation a child is. Every child deserves to be happy and safe in school and deserves to get a good education. They deserve to have adults protect them. A bully will pick on any child that is different. They will find the one that is quiet and artistic, that speaks with an accent, this is autistic, that is bookish and nerdy. They will find the child that wears braces or glasses or that is new to the school. They will find the child who has a hard time making friends, for whatever reason. Bullies are relentless. Bullies are bullies and they must be stopped. It is not "kids just being kids". Kids are dying because of this and it has to stop!

I have continued to check in on 37 days since finding that posting. On the 7th, she had a link to The Proper Care & Feeding of Your Homosexual. I read that too and I think you should also.

When I logged on to get to the blog today, going through my centurylink home page, there was an article on 4 teen suicides in one Ohio school! I read part of the article before feeling ill and wanting to scream. I got to the part where the mother of the most recent girl who had killed herself was talking about the kids who had bullied her. They had actually come to the funeral and laughed at the way the girl looked in the casket! What is wrong with these kids? What is wrong with the parents of these kids to have raised kids such as these? It makes me absolutely ill to think of them! What has happened to compassion and empathy? I'm so very concerned for our Country.

"We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people." -Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I honestly don't know know what to do about this horribly huge problem. I do know that I am going to go back and make sure that I have read every single thing that is linked in the posts I've mentioned on the 37 days blog so that I can learn more. I'm going to check out Ellen's blog which I know is linked on on 37 days to learn even more. I'm going to be watching my local and national news coverage more. I'm going to speak up when I hear a joke that is homophobic, racist, sexist or in some other way hurtful. I'm going to write letters to the producers (authors and sponsors) when I see those types of jokes on TV or in film because I don't think they are OK any longer. Actually, I never thought they were OK, but I was one of the ones who just kept quiet. I'm ashamed that I did and I won't any longer. I'm going to step in if I see someone being bullied and I'm going to talk to my son and granddaughters about bullies also. I will raise my voice here on my blog. I will sign petitions. I will let me friends on facebook know how I feel. These are my first steps to help in this situation. What are you going to do?

Put Your Heart into Action

2010-10-08T15:12:00.001-05:00

I'm appalled by the recent suicides of gay teens after they experienced merciless bullying.

But this really takes the cake. One of the top leaders in the Mormon Church has apparently chosen this moment to give a horribly anti-gay sermon in front of millions of Mormons, calling same-sex attraction 'impure and unnatural.'

Can you just imagine if you were a gay or lesbian teen in that audience? Or even questioning?

I just added my name to an open letter that will help young people understand the truth -- and help Mormon leaders understand that spreading these lies puts lives at risk. I hope you'll join me:

click here

http://bit.ly/bKMov4

Thanks

Have you ever been Bullied? Part two of three parts

2010-10-08T00:10:00.001-05:00

My next experience with bullying came when my niece, nephews and grandchildren started school.

I know that one reason my sister's family moved from the general Houston, TX area to Colorado was because one or more of her three children were being bullied in school and she felt that they would be treated better and be safer in CO. That the schools there would not put up with bullying after what had happened at Columbine. Well, she was wrong. Bullying in the CO schools was just as prevalent as it had been in TX schools. She was in constant contact with teachers, counselors and school officials to no avail. She finally took her son R out of the school he was attending. R had hold her how unhappy he was, that he wanted to die rather than go back to that school. Thankfully, she took him seriously. Thankfully, he told her how he felt to begin with. I shudder to think of what could have happened if he had not. She found him a much better, more tolerant school. At his new school, R bloomed and flourished! It was amazing, the difference that school made in his life! Every student should have that experience in school.

My grandchildren did not have a lot of social interaction with other children before they started school. To me, this means they started school disadvantaged. They never really learned how to make friends easily. I think this is the reason that both of my granddaughters have been bullied at times. To the best of my knowledge, they have told us about the bullying, but not always when it is happening. I know the oldest told her teacher when it happened and steps were taken to stop it. She also told her momma. I don't think that Granddaughter #2 told anyone until this year that it happened last year. This worries me and I'll be talking to both of them about bullying when I see them next. With everything in the news, I think it's extremely important that all children know to stand up against bullies.

Teachers and other adults must stop acting as if it's a "kids are being kids" thing. That is a bunch of crap! It's a cop out for not doing what you need to do. Stand up for children who are being bullied! Are you afraid to stand up for the unpopular kid? Do you just not like the kid yourself and you don't care what happens to him or her? Are you afraid of the bully yourself? If you are, then get help in your classroom and then reconsider your job choice. Our children's lives are in your hands many hours each day. We depend on you to take care of them as well as to educate them. Speaking up for them is the very least you can do.

Our Children should not be bullied or have to worry about their safety in school! It should not matter what religion, ethnicity or sexual orientation our children are. They should be safe from bullying in school! This needs to be taken seriously, always.

Have you ever been Bullied? Part one of three parts

2010-10-07T17:27:00.001-05:00

I have. Let me start this by saying that I went to a pretty sheltered, mostly white elementary school in Dallas, TX in the late 1960's to early 1970's. We had a few Hispanic kids in the school, but not many and when I was in the 6th grade, some black students were bused to our school for the first time. I had one African American girl in my class. Her name was also Sharon and she was as sweet as she could be.

My Junior High School was not sheltered. It was large, seemed crowed and full of mean students of all ethnicity's. This is where I was bullied. I have no idea why I was bullied. One girl, in particular, did not like me. She was built like a solid Mack truck and was at least a foot taller than me. She could have played linebacker for our football team! She would take my seat in math class, try to block me from getting into class, push me, you name it. She even wrote "bitch" in my jacket one day while it was on the back of my chair. I'll admit that I didn't know how to handle this. I didn't tell my mother about it. (reading this now may be her first time hearing about it) What I did was I started getting sick before school. I missed a lot of school in the years I went to that school. So much, that a Truant Officer visited my home one day. It didn't matter. I would feel horrible at the thought of school and I didn't go often. Fortunately for me, it was before the days of having to attend a set number of days or your would fail. Well, one day I decided that I had had enough. It was clear that my teacher was afraid of her and wasn't going to do a thing to help me. He had seen her behavior and never stopped her or even said anything to her. I figured I could either stand up for myself or get beat up for trying. So, when she tried to block my way that day, I pushed her back and glared up at her. She looked down at me for a moment and then smiled! At that moment, she became somewhat of a friend. She even gave me one of her school photos that year and she stopped bullying me that day.

I had trouble once in a while with a couple of girls in high school too. Mostly because I had dated one of their former boyfriends and she had decided that I had broken them up. They went so far as to spread rumors that my best friend and I were lesbians. As surprising as this may sound, at the time, I never heard the rumors myself. I was totally unaware of them until my 10 year High School Reunion. When that same best friend and I went to the reunion together because our husbands did not want to go with us. There came a time during the reunion when many of the women were up dancing together because there were more women there than men. I tried to get my friend to get up and dance with me. She refused because of the old rumors. That's when I found out about them. I thought it was funny. She was still upset about it.

My Latest Postcards from Postcrossing Friends

2010-10-07T10:00:00.001-05:00

I have now received a total of 17 postcards from postcrossing folks and friends! I have also sent 17 postcards that have arrived at their destinations and I have 5 more that I've put in the mail in the last two days. I recently bought a photo album to put the postcards in that I've gotten. I've had to trim just a bit off of a few of them to make them fit. One is what I'd call a plus-sized card (the Chihuly card) and I will put an envelope in the back of the photo album to hold it and any others like it that I get in the future. Trimming it would make me lose too much of the card. Here are my newest cards:

On this one is from Giesbeek, she suggests a song to me. I haven't listened to it yet, but plan to look it up one day soon and do just that. The song is "Time to Smile" by Xavier Rudd.

This one is a train station in Belarus. Beautiful!

There are several images, as you can see, on the card from Finland. My sister and I went to Finland when we were teenagers. I was young and stupid and couldn't stand to be away from my boyfriend. I was 17 and since I missed him so, I came home after only one week. My sister stayed the whole month and took a sauna while visiting Finnish friends of our father's. I now wish I had appreciated the trip more when I was actually on it. I married the boyfriend the next March. We've been together almost 33 years now.

This card from Florida shows some Dale Chihuly glass. I love his work. This is from the Black Cylinder group.

Clearing the Decks

2010-10-06T16:17:00.002-05:00

As I write this, the Texas Rangers are winning their first playoff game in the American League Division Series against Tampa Bay. They are beginning the bottom half of the ninth inning and the score is Texas 5, TB 1. Of course Tampa Bay has one half inning to try to win. I've got my fingers crossed and my Texas playoff hat on! I haven't adjusted the size on it yet, so I'm wearing it backwards so that I can see what I'm writing. * The Rangers won game one! Woo hoo! The final score was 5 to 1.

I don't remember if I told you how grand- daughter #2 sleeps in her bed. Right now, grand- daughter #1 often sleeps with her in #2's bed. Which is in itself, quite tricky since it is a twin sized bed and they are getting fairly big. Number 1 has done this since their mother passed away. She's also insisted on a nightlight because she often has nightmares. This last time I visited (for grandson's birthday), the girls each slept in their own beds. And every single time I went in there to go to sleep in my bed, I got tickled at the way #2 sleeps in hers -- which is horizontally. I took this photo with the flash and in the dark, except for the nightlight. I didn't realize the room was such a mess when I did it. Oh well.

I have a couple of more hearts to show you. The first is a small rock I found in my walkway as I was going to my car. It's small enough to carry in my pocket. It is a little more defined than the photo shows, but not much.

The second is something I think is really unusual. You may need to click on the photo to enlarge it enough to see, but even that may not help. I had a lot of trouble photographing it. Another time I wish I had a macro lens on my camera. It's part of an eraser. I put it in my toiletries bag when I headed to Oklahoma this time (it was totally clean, no color on it at all when I left). I didn't want to forget it and I didn't want it to get messed up in my purse. I use this type of eraser when I work on Sudoku puzzles and mess up and need to erase the puzzle and start over. I never used it while I was there and I never came across it in my bag. When I got home, it was sitting on top when I opened up the bag. And this heart was on it. There is nothing ink filled in my bag that could have made this heart. There is nothing in my bag to write or draw with at all. I don't know how the heart image ended up on the eraser. In fact, looking at it closely, it really looks like it's a double heart. I hope you can see it.

On the drive home from Oklahoma, I stopped at one of the "look- outs" on the way to eat my lunch. I took a few photos. This is the one I liked the most.

The Japanese persimmons are getting darker. I'm sure I'll share even more photos of them as they ripen. They are just beautiful when fully ripe. Well, I think that ties up the last of the loose ends and takes care of all of my little odd photos. I'll have postcards to show you tomorrow.

The Party

2010-10-05T01:09:00.003-05:00

I shopped a lot in Texas before I left and when I got to the kids house, I did some cleaning. So, by the time we got to the day before the big birthday and party, I was having a lot of problems with my knees. This is really nothing unusual for me, but I was in enough pain that I could not stand the thought of standing to mix the cake. Not what I had wanted for this weekend. So, I roped the kid's dad into making the cake. Of course the girls did help and I was on stand by for questions. It was his first time to mix a cake from scratch, possibly the first time to make a cake, period -- I'm not sure. All in all, I think they did a very good job of it.

You can't really tell from this angle, but that is indeed a Dora the Explorer cake pan. Fortunately, they had one already. Unfortunately, neither the kid's dad nor I felt up to decorating the cake as Dora should look. The oldest granddaughter came up with the perfect solution. Make Dora a ghost since it's close to Halloween! One smart kid! I loved the idea and her dad did too. After it baked, we left it to cool on the racks, so we could frost it in the morning.

On the big day, the girls wanted to help with the party too, so I let them decorate the cake. It did not look the least little bit like Dora when the girls finished with the white frosting and I put on the chocolate sprinkles that represented her eyes and mouth, (it would not have looked like Dora if I had done it either!).

Dad and I decorated the kitchen for the party while the girls frosted. When it was all completed, the birthday boy realized that everyone had disappeared into the kitchen. He came to investigate and the party started! First we sang "Happy Birthday to you" and he blew out the 7 candles, even though he continued to tell us he was only six.

Then came time to eat the cake -- which he had been asking for for 2 days! I don't think he cared what Dora looked like at this point.

Then we started playing games. First there was Bingo. I didn't look at the game cards before we started and didn't realize that all of the cards had the same exact pictures on every card, only in different places! So, when we played a "black out" game, they all "bingo-ed" at the same time! Actually, they all "bingo-ed" when we did a single row too. I never did figure that one out, but I didn't try really hard either. After Bingo, we played Pin the Tail on the Donkey. It was the first time for my grandson to play anything like this and possibly the first time for the girls too. They understood the rules well enough, but I think the two youngest could see the game despite the blindfold. They both got the tail very close to the bull's eye that marked the spot to aim for. The oldest, didn't peek, but did feel the game for the other two tails!

At that point, I decided that I didn't really do that well on the games (or enough fun had been had!) and we decided to open the gifts! The costumes from me were not a huge hit, but that's OK. I know that they will come in very handy down the line somewhere. They will be enjoyed. His dad and sisters got him a Nerf gun that shot Nerf darts. It only took about 10 minutes before the first child (CV) was hit near the eye and the safety lecture started. The hit of the gifts was a water safe car thing. It actually floated. Only about thirty minutes after the gift opening was completed and the balloon playing was dying down, did I hear the birthday boy ask for a bath so he could play with his cars in the tub.

Balloon playing continued off and on all night. I think the party was a success and fun was had by all. The girls are already talking about what they want at their parties.

JT is a little love monkey

2010-10-02T18:43:00.001-05:00

When I got here on Thursday, JT practically crawled up my body to hug me three different times. It sure did make my heart sing! He's remained very affectionate. Of course, he's always been a loving child, but he's giving extra hugs and love and kisses this time. I think he missed me.

Yikes!!

2010-10-01T19:14:00.002-05:00

JT does not want cupcakes in the shape of a X. He wants a Dora the Explorer cake. Yikes!! Fortunately, they already have the cake pan. Now, I just have to decorate it. Did I say "Yikes" yet?

I'm in Oklahoma

2010-10-01T11:06:00.004-05:00

I got here much later than I had originally planned. I didn't sleep well for 2 or 3 nights before coming. So, I slept late the day of the drive. I figured it would be better to arrive alive and late than not at all because of falling asleep driving. Plus I had several errands to run on the way. It actually made the drive more pleasant than driving straight through. When I finally left the Dallas area and got on the road to OK, it didn't seem to take all that long to get here, even though it was still another 2 and a half or 3 hours.

My errands included a stop at Party City, to see if I could find glow in the dark vampire teeth and a cape. My middle granddaughter had requested the glow in the dark teeth and she had also recommended that I get her brother a cape for his birthday. I had already looked at Dollar Tree and Walmart for the items. I found several things, but not the exact things I was looking for.

I went to Dollar Tree and Walmart the day before. Dollar Tree was a suggestion from my cousin Sundey. It was a fabulous place to get party things -- decorations, games, prizes, gift bags and I got a fireman's hat for JT. I didn't know if I'd be lucky enough to find anything I was hunting for and I didn't have the time or energy to go back. So, I got the hat for dress up (he's liked to play dress up too when he was younger and has never had anything to dress up in! As proof, I have a photo of him in his sister's dress up wedding gown when he was about 4!) So, at Dollar Tree, I found streamers, a "Happy Birthday" banner, lanterns, the gift bag and curling ribbons. I got the table cloth, the blue plates and orange napkins, sparkly candles, a bingo game with pictures and pin the tail on the donkey games and various little prizes and favors, including medals on ribbons that say winner. I even found these blue plastic Oriental food container boxes to put some of the prizes in. And everything in that store actually is only $1!

Then I headed on over to Walmart. They didn't have a cape alone, but did have a Batman costume and a Superman costume. I couldn't decide which to get, so I got both, They didn't have glow in the dark vampire teeth, but they had packages of teeth with 4 different colors. They also had square dark yellow plates, orange cupcake baking cups and a Sponge Bob Square Pants ribbon.

When I got to Party City the next day, I found single capes, but they were more expensive than the whole costumes I had already, so I didn't get them. I did find what I hope are glow in the dark teeth and a king's robe and crown though. So, I got those (yes, I know, I went a little nuts and bought more than I really should have).and then I hit the road for Quilt Country where I got the supplies to make wallets for the girls. They've been asking for them for a while. I had planned to make the wallets while I am here, but as it turns out, I always plan to do too much and forget something when I come.

On the letter X theme. I've decided to make cupcakes and lay them out in an X shape for him to blow out the candles. I'll even frost each one with an X on each. I plan to put X's on the donkey's tail too. I should have done more, but that's all I've come up with and I think it will be OK. I'll have photos added to this post after I get home, probably on Monday.

What I Want

2010-09-29T08:29:00.005-05:00

Here are just a few of the things I want.

What I want for my son:
1. Happiness
2. When you get out of the military, I want you to find a profession that you love and enjoy and I want you to do it.
3. True, last forever, soul mate love
4. continue your education

What I want for my granddaughters:
1. I want you to make your own money in a profession you love
2. I want you to support yourself and live on your own for at least one year before you marry
3. Happiness
4. True, last forever, soul mate love
5. a college or university education

What I want for my grandson:
1. I want you to find a profession you love and be able to make a living at it
2. Happiness
3. True, last forever, soul mate love
4. a college or university education
5. I want you to also live on your own for a year before marrying
6. I want you to be all that you can be

Kid's Birthday Parties

2010-09-28T13:02:00.003-05:00

I'm going to warn you right off the bat, this is a sad story.

My grandchildren are 9, 8 and 6 as I write this and other than their first birthday, the only one who has ever had a birthday party is the middle one. And I believe that it was a bit of a fluke.

Her birthday is in July, when there is no school in progress. So, in 2009 her family came to TX to visit from CA during the last of July and she got to have a birthday party (after her actual birthday) with all of her TX cousins and family here. I don't think there were any party games, but there were so many people and gifts that it was quite an occasion for her.

After they returned home, life as normal returned. That means that their momma was sick when her younger brother's birthday came up in October and her older sister's birthday came up in January. Neither of them had parties. Not real parties. And to be honest, they didn't always get to have a special "day" on their actual birthday either. To this point, their birthday was often even "put off" until momma felt better and could make a family party of some sort. I think there were times, when it never happened at all and other times when it was put off for as long as a month. Momma wouldn't allow for a "party" without her doing it, you see. The whole time, I fumed. In my opinion, there isn't much more important than making a child feel special on their birthday.

In March, their momma passed away suddenly. One of the things I thought of was that if they were able to move closer to TX, I would do my level best to make sure they each had a birthday party of some sort. The Air Force did move them closer to family and they are in OK instead of CA now. I was there in July and the girls helped me make the cake for middle grandchild. We celebrated together before her party, which was held at a park in 100+ degree weather. I did not attend the party itself because of the location and temperature, but I know that all 5 children in attendance had fun. And the parents in attendance survived.

My grandson, will be 7 on Sunday. I am still sick and hoping I will be able to drive up to Oklahoma on Thursday. My grandson is autistic. I believe with Asperger's Syndrome. I don't know that the parties are as important to him as they are to his sisters, but I do know that he loves to feel special, just as any child does. When I lived with them (for three months), after their momma died, his favorite letter was the letter X, so I plan to use X in anything I can for his birthday. I plan to buy him a cape -- middle grandchild recommended it and she's right, he'd love it. I plan to get all the kids glow in the dark vampire teeth. If there are guests at the party, there will be goodie bags. I plan to have games. I want my grandson to have fun and I want my granddaughters to know what a party at home can be. I wanted to do this for my middle grandchild, but she opted for the park. I will take lots of photos and I will keep my fingers crossed until I'm able to go. These children deserve some "HAPPY". They deserve a life time of "HAPPY". They are way behind on their quota too. I may even try to make a crown.

If you have any ideas....please leave them in the comments section. I am open to anything.

The First Cool Weather of Fall

2010-09-26T22:05:00.002-05:00

I went out this evening to start a load of wash and I felt it. The first cool temperatures of fall! I love that first time when I feel the first cooler weather after summer. Especially after a summer like we've had. A long summer with the temperatures being higher than normal for longer than normal. It is such a relief. Such a blessing. I can't wait to open doors wide and open windows and air out the house. I can't wait to see the leaves falling from the trees. I can't wait to see the beautiful blue that the sky turns this time of year. I love spring for the wild flowers and new life it brings each year, but I love fall as much, if not more. I love the color of my Japanese persimmons as they ripen. I love the few leaves that change color around here -- even the poison ivy which turns a lovely red! I love that this year I'll be able to see my grandchildren in their Halloween costumes. I love that so many birthdays are coming up. Birthdays of people who are near and dear to me. I love the Thanksgiving holiday, even more than Christmas. I love that even though I myself may be in the autumn of my life, I am ever more mindful of all I have to be thankful for.

MY Texas Rangers won the A.L. West!

2010-09-25T18:36:00.000-05:00

We're going to the play offs baby! For the first time in 11 years, the Texas Rangers have won the American League western division and secured their spot in the play offs! I am one happy gal in Texas.

Clean

2010-09-25T13:50:00.005-05:00

When I hear the word "clean" nowadays I go into a kind of panic. I can't say that I've ever been a great house keeper. I don't enjoy house work. (Which is rather sad since I've been a "house wife" for the majority of my marriage.) Although I really do enjoy a clean house. The activities of making a clean house are irritating to me -- nothing seems to stay clean for even a little while. House cleaning is frustration in all capital letters to me and lots of exclamation points and jumping up and down while shaking my fists and screaming a primal scream! It -- seems -- so-- pointless. But if you don't do it, you end up with what I have now and baby -- that is not pretty -- or fun -- or relaxing. I hate being embarrassed to have anyone over. I know you think I'm exaggerating about this, but my cousin Mike told me that he would like to come visit me and I put him off. I did. I've put him off twice now. I even told him why, but I'm sure he doesn't believe me.

I kept a pretty clean house while my son was at home and while my dad was alive, but when dad died, I went into a depression. I was emotionally and physically exhausted from caring for him, but I still don't think his death caused the depression. I think it triggered it. Rest alone didn't help. I just stopped doing anything. Period. After a while, I knew I needed help. And I asked for it. I was put on medication and I am still on it -- 15 years later. My doctor thinks I will always be on anti-depressants. We'll see. I'm hopeful that I will not have to be. In fact, I have cut down on them in the last year or so and that is even with all that has gone on in my life in the last year.

I want my home to be the kind of clean again that makes me think of new copper pennies. I actually want it to be that kind of clean before Thanksgiving of this year. I want to have all of my family here for Thanksgiving this year. The last year they were all here was the last Thanksgiving that my dad was alive. I don't know that anything will beat that special day for me, but I'd like to celebrate my son and grandchildren being here this year and living close to Texas. I'd like to celebrate the lives of the women we lost this year. I'd like to feel the love in my own home. It's been so very long.

To be able to have what I want this year, I have to clean and I have to clean a lot. I honestly don't know if I can do it. I have a lot of reasons that I may not be able to accomplish this in the time frame I've set, or maybe they are excuses, but the thing is that I want this weight lifted off of me and I need it lifted off of me. I need to start.

*These photos represent the cleaner parts of my home at the moment.

Poetry can be a Comfort

2010-09-24T14:37:00.000-05:00

This poem was sent to me by my sweet cousin Sundey. A friend of hers had suffered a loss and put this poem on facebook. She wanted to be sure I saw it because of my recent losses. I think I'll make a copy to take to my granddaughters too. Thank you Sundey. I'm sorry for your friend's loss.

Death is Nothing at All

by Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918) Canon of St. Paul's Cathedral sometimes referred to as 'What is Death?'

Death is nothing at all.

I have only slipped away into the next room.

I am I and you are you.

Whatever we were to each other,

that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.

Speak to me in the easy way

which you always used.

Put no difference in your tone.

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed

at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word

that it always was.

Let it be spoken without affect,

without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.

It is the same that it ever was.

There is absolutely unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind

because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you,

for an interval,

somewhere very near,

just around the corner.

All is well.

My Gift of Jewels package has Arrived!

2010-09-23T20:16:00.004-05:00

First of all, I must thank Se'Lah over at Necessary Room for hosting this wonderful inter-national love exchange again this year. I had so much fun shopping for my own gift of jewels to send off. That experience alone was almost enough. Almost. I knew I had something on the way to me too, you see. So, I waited patiently. There was no telling where it was coming from with 70 of us from 12 different countries participating. This exchange of friendship and love was a celebration of the Ethiopian New Year on September 11 and that was the day scheduled for us to mail out our *Gifts of Jewels*. One reason I joined this exchange was to have something positive to focus on on that particular day. A day that can be so very sad here in the United States of America for so many.

After last year's gift to me, I felt that I had to send out a better gift this year. Tracey sent me a wonderful gift last year and she and I have become friends, which is the best gift of all! I'm hoping this year will follow in the same vain. I think I did improve on the gift that I sent out this year over last year, but I think I'm still going to have to up my game for next year!

Today, I received mine in the mail! Oh my what a wonderful, thoughtful, generous, loving gift it is! Anyes of the blog Far Away in the Sunshine made a beautiful thank you card for me (can you believe it? she thanked me for participating! so sweet!) and sent me three absolutely amazing rocks with encouraging words carved (or etched?) into them. Peace, Joy and Courage are on stones that are weighty and feel substantial in your hand. You know they will last through years of holding and rubbing and praying for what they state on their front sides. Peace is the one I'm most drawn to at this moment. I will keep it nearest to me as I pray for peace tonight. I will keep the others near because they are just beautiful and I know I will soon be praying for joy or courage and because I really do love them.

Anyes also enclosed a pamphlet for Ten Thousand Villages (fair trade since 1946!). I believe this is where she purchased the stones for me. So, in my opinion she not only gifted me, but also the artisan that etched the stones. I plan to go to the website and possibly purchase my holiday gifts there this year. I don't buy many any longer and I really love it when they can do some good.

Thank you so very much Anyes and Se'Lah. You have both made my week!

Little Granddaughter Update

2010-09-22T19:31:00.000-05:00

I talked to my momma earlier. She was concerned about her great-granddaughter after reading my blog. I thought I had updated to let you know the latest, but I apparently have not. So, just to let you know, in case you are worried too -- she's doing OK for now. I've talked to her several times over the last several days. The last three calls have had no lies or tears. Not even little white lies or sniffles. She's sounded rather upbeat. I am glad. I need a rest. I'm tired. Emotionally tired and I think I have a sinus infection, so I'm not up to much at the moment. I'll be headed up there to OK to see them all next Thursday, more than likely. Hopefully, things will remain calm until then.

Postcrossing Love

2010-09-22T17:20:00.000-05:00

I got two postcrossing postcards in the mail today!

My very first from China. Sometimes the English translations are not quite "proper", but I find them endearing and often more loving and perfect than what it should have been. For instance, his salutation is "Warmly greetings from China." I absolutely love that! So much more than just "warm greetings". To me it is just beautiful. If it had not been for that small mistake in grammar, I would have thought this postcard came from a person living in China who's first language was indeed English because the rest was written so very perfectly! The photo on the card is of the Taihao Mausoleum at Huaiyang.

The next came from Ohio. She sent a postcard of Niagara Falls. This is my second Niagara Falls postcard and they are starting to make me want to go there.

Paws for Charity Calendar -- Darling!

2010-09-22T13:07:00.000-05:00

I find my way to blogs and don't even remember how I got there because I started at one blog and was linked to another and another and another through blog postings. I find a lot of wonderful blogs that way. I just never remember who to thank for getting me there. Today's find is Paws for Charity and they have a wonderful calendar this year, their first (!) that will be benefiting The Avon Foundation Breast Cancer Crusade. When I get my calendar, which I do plan to do, I'll be sure to post about it. Right now, I better get off of this computer and head to the post office. I haven't been all week and I just know that I have some fun stuff waiting for me.

*In the middle of writing this, I did remember how I came to the calendar posting -- I found it through Alice in Paris loves Art and Tea. This is a blog I read often and really enjoy.

I was over at Ree's Place

2010-09-21T12:16:00.000-05:00

Ree's blog is The Pioneer Woman and there are several parts to her blog. Today I started with Home and Garden. She was talking about her clothes in her closet. I felt the need to leave a comment. This is what I said:

"You would hate my closet Ree! I basically wear t-shirts. Almost all of my t-shirts have some kind of quilt related writing on them. If I’m going somewhere that I need to be somewhat dressy, I wear a t-shirt without writing on it. To me, that’s dressed up. Although I do know that even my normal dress up clothes aren’t dressy enough for funerals and jury duty. I have a few pairs of slacks and regular blouses for that kind of thing, but I can’t tell you what they look like to save my soul. Thankfully, it’s been a few months since I’ve been to a funeral or on a jury."

I kid you not, to me being dressed up is indeed wearing a t-shirt without words on it! I like it that way. I don't wear make up often either and when I do, it's only mascara and a little lip something or other. I do not wear perfumes at all, ever. Period. End of story. I stopped all of that when I moved out to the country because I found that the make up caked up and ended up in a pool under my eyes. I'd go to the grocery store and post office, then come home and discover that I looked like a rabid raccoon! The perfumes just attracted bees and wasps and I did not want to get stung. I later found out that I was quite allergic to perfumes of all kinds. They give me migraines. So, the country life has simplified my life and my clothes and makeup budget. Basically, there isn't one.

One Day at a Time

2010-09-21T11:37:00.000-05:00

It's entirely possibly that I'm paranoid. Or maybe I just borrow trouble. I read up on kids and bi-polar disorder last night. Absolutely every "symptom" that my granddaughter is having could very easily be attributed to her grief or to puberty. That is, all except for her recent lying, which is not listed as a symptom and could just be a way to get attention in all that has happened in her life. The child has been through hell and is still on the journey back.

You see it was the whopper of a lie she told me as she cried the other night on the phone that set all of my "bi-polar" bells and whistles off because it reminded me so much of her mother's actions and her mother was bi-polar. I still have a lot to learn, it seems. Anyway, my granddaughter has no idea what damage a lie of that magnitude could do. In this day and age, it is absolutely frightening. (I did try to explain it to her last night, but I'm sure she doesn't get it. I'll try again when I see her in person.)

So, I will continue to pray. I will continue to talk on the phone and listen to her cry. I will visit often. I will try not to borrow trouble. I will trust in the therapist, when all falls into place and she gets one again. (It takes time to get appointments in the military, it can be very frustrating.) I will not compare her to her mother. That will be tough, especially if the lying continues. I will not jump to conclusions and I will learn more about bi-polar disorder.

* I do know that there are millions of people with bi-polar disorder who lead perfectly normal lives and function well in society. This has not been what I have personally seen in my own family with this disorder and I am not speaking of your situation ever when I speak of it here. I wish we had been that fortunate.

I've Been Told....

2010-09-20T07:00:00.002-05:00

That "the Lord will not give us more than we can handle". This may be a simplified way of phrasing it, but that statement has helped me in times of duress. Other times, I've tested the limits of it. I was given almost more than I could bear when my father died and I then went into a deep depression. I think his death triggered the depression, I don't think it was the reason for it. I was in it for a long, long time. My house has not been clean since.

Now, I fear, that our family may have been given something that will sorely test that age old belief. I fear that my dear, precious granddaughter -- the one I have been so very worried about during her grief over the loss of her mother and the same one who is entering puberty -- is also showing signs of bi-polar disorder. Her mother was (or would the correct word be - had?) bi-polar and it was never treated correctly. I feel that it ultimately led to her death. If the reason for the most recent actions of my sweet granddaughter are indeed the first signs of bi-polar disorder, I don't know if I'll be able to handle this. I really don't know that I will.

New Post Cards, a Book, a Heart Rock and a new Project

2010-09-19T16:23:00.001-05:00

I found another heart rock in my walk way yesterday on my way to the car to go to Dallas to sew with my mini group friends. I picked it up, scraped off the mud (we've had a little rain lately) and dropped it in my basket to take with me. I remembered to show it to only one friend while there, Andrea. I photographed it on one of the postcards -- it's in the last photo. I saw this heart shaped cloud while driving home from Dallas and sewing.

While there, I started a new project. I've been wanting to make a "grief" quilt for some months now. I asked if anyone could remember the stages of grief and Shelley and Andrea both got online and found them for me. Andrea's website had 7 stages: 1. denial/shock, 2. pain/guilt, 3. anger/bargaining, 4. depression/loneliness/reflection, 5. upward turn, 6. reconstruction/working through, 7. acceptance/hope. Shelley printed out the 5 stages that I am more familiar with: 1. denial, 2. anger/resentment, 3. bargaining, 4. depression, 5 acceptance.

I decided to go with the 5 stages that Shelley found and possibly throw in a little of Andrea's findings also because I didn't want the fabrics to be too think to sew. I found fabrics to represent the different stages of grief for me. For "denial" I used the orange and grey originally, but that wasn't really enough. I later added the purples they are on the top of the quilt, thanks to Maxine and Kari for suggesting it needed diagonal movement and purple. Everything on top of the red, represents "denial and shock". Red represents "anger", the next fabric is a blue with red and blue freckles (or dots) which represents bargaining, then the black is for "depression" and finally the yellow peeking through is for "hope and acceptance". I'm not there yet, but I'm hopeful that I will be one day.

As you can see the top fabrics are ripped and woven through each other. They are very confusing, just like the feelings in the beginnings of grief. The denial and the shock are so confusing, my very fiber feels ripped apart at times. I had not trimmed the quilt to the point that it's at in this photo when I had taken it over to a part of the quilt shop that has all the thread. I was looking for black and grey and maybe a dark purple. An older woman saw my quilt at that point and said "oh what a mess!". I turned to her and thanked her. I told her it that it represents grief. She said "Grace?" "No," I said "grief.". She said "Greece?" "No, grief as in someone has died and I am grieving for them". At which point she just looked at me with disdain and confusion and her friend dragged her away. She just could not comprehend a quilt that was not of a traditional making/pattern/design. That's OK. Someday she may feel like ripping fabric and remember my "mess" and give herself permission.

I've already stitched a broken heart into the quilt. I plan to stitch tears into it at some point, but other than that, I'll just stitch and see what happens. I don't know if it will be donated to the Quilter's Guild of Dallas' live mini auction in March or if I'll put it in the show. Right now, the only thing I know for sure about it is that is not messy enough.

My momma sent me a book that I got in yesterday's mail. It's Making Toast by Roger Rosenblatt. She said in her letter to me "It is amazing how it applied to both of our lives this terrible year." She also said she felt that she was guided to the yard sale that had it. I agree. I loved every word of this book. I read it very quickly and I plan to reread it again soon. Then I may return it to momma and buy another one for myself, so that we can both have a copy. It just feels like we'll need it. I don't know.

I've got some postcrossing postcards to share with you too. The first is from Louisiana and is of the Superdome. I didn't know the facts that are listed on the front of the card. Fun. Click on the photo if you want to read them yourself.

The next one is from Spain and shows the Ebro River.

Then I got a surprise card from a young woman that I had sent a card to in the past. She didn't need to send me a card in response or as a thank you, but she did. Very sweet. It shows a fountain in St. Petersburg, Russia.

The last one I have to show you today actually came in an envelope! Also from Russia. It shows a lovely hotel and speaks of hot air balloon rides! That would be so nice. Isn't the envelope pretty? I love the stamps too.

Quilting with Friends

2010-09-18T19:56:00.000-05:00

Today, my mini group met and I didn't take one photo. I can't even believe it. Especially since this was Kari's last time with us. She is moving to Seattle on Oct. 2nd. I'm going to miss her. I'll think of her often though. I know I will. I hope to stay in touch via email and blogs. And of course whenever the Rangers play the Red Sox, I'll be rooting against her. I mean I'll be thinking about her while I root for the Rangers. Safe travels Kari. I hope you will be very happy in your next home.

I'll fill you in on the rest of today, tomorrow. I'm tuckered out now.

One for the Money

2010-09-17T13:55:00.001-05:00

That subject title may sound familiar to you. That is, if you are a Janet Evanovich reader. One for the Money is the first book in the Stephanie Plum series and it's being made into a movie as I write this. I, for one, am thrilled! I love this book series! It's fun and sexy and more fun. It is not a heavy read. It's more like popcorn and every once in a while, we all need a little popcorn in our days and lives.

The cast is something I'm a little worried about, but just in places. Stephanie will be played by Katherine Heigl and I think she'll be able to convey Stephanie as I see her. Sherri Shepherd is Lula. Sherri will be a great Lula, although I always pictured Lula quite a bit heavier than Sherri. That's not a real problem, they can just put smaller clothes on her. This is the one that I'm worried about -- Jason O'Mara as Morelli. Now, I think Jason is a hunk and I've always enjoyed watching him in whatever show he's in, even if I didn't like the show. I just think of Morreli as very Italian and Jason as Irish. Both are sexy, but I don't know that they are interchangeable. Maybe some brown contacts would help. Daniel Sunjata is playing Ranger. I had to google Daniel because I didn't know the name, but when I saw the photo, I did remember him. He's on the TV series Rescue Me and he is indeed a gorgeous hunk of man. But I'll be honest here, I don't think there is a man alive who can fulfill my image of Ranger. So, I can only hope that through the whole movie I'm not thinking "rescue me" when I'm watching "Ranger" on the big screen. John Leguizamo is Jimmy Alpha and Patrick Fischler is Vinnie. I wish they had listed who would be playing Grandma Mazur. I can't wait to see her on the big screen. I hope they don't cut her out of the movie. That would be a crime. And Connie. Who is playing Connie?

Anyway, the day it comes out, I plan to be in the theater. I plan to enjoy every minute and then call up my friends and compare notes. For updates on the movie, check out Evanovich's website.

Chase

2010-09-16T21:16:00.000-05:00

My momma called me a little while ago and told me that my little town had been on her local news. She lives outside of Houston and I live 70 miles, give or take, south east of Dallas, so this was indeed news to me. She went on to explain that "they" were filming in our area. Filming? In my little town? Are you kidding me? What in the world is there to film in this little place? So, she told me just a little about a new TV show that will be starting soon called "Chase" that is filming all over Texas and has been in my area filming. Whoa! As it said on her news report, that's "the biggest thing to happen around here since the local school went to state with its 6 man football team" several years back! She said some of the local kids were going to be on the show. Pretty cool!

So, I googled. Chase is a new series that starts September 20th (next Tuesday) on NBC. It will air at 9 PM central time. I have no idea if I'll like it or not, but I do like police shows, so there's a good chance I will. I've already set it up on my DVR to record all the new episodes. After all, I have to watch until the little town in which I live near (and get my mail) shows up!

*I don't actually live in the city limits. This is a rural area and I'm just a bit outside the city limits, but I do get my mail there and my water is from there. It's the closest I have to a town at this point.

A Leaf Cousin

2010-09-15T14:11:00.001-05:00

My oldest granddaughter has loved trees since she was a tiny little thing. She used to pat them lovingly when she was outside and just starting to walk. If she was not free to roam and being carried or in a stroller, she said "tree" and stretched her arms out toward it as if she needed to be near just to breathe. She was not happy if you did not take her to the tree, but if you did, she smiled and literally seemed to take a deep breath and she looked calmer. It always amazed and tickled me. And I, for one, always took her to the tree when I was with her, which I will admit was not often since they lived in Italy at the time and I was in Texas.

Her affection for trees isn't as obvious now. After all, she is nine years old and what self respecting nine year old girl is going to pat a tree in front of others? But she can't fool me. I know that she still loves trees! She mourns not having one large enough to climb at her new house. She always climbs one at my house and she brings me leaf faces just about every time I see her from whatever kind of branched thing is growing leaves at the time. They always pretty much look the same, although she is artistic and I fully expect to start seeing variations at any time. This last leaf face jogged my memory of one I had seen on another blog -- check out Keri Smith. I think they may be cousins, although I think Keri's Ralph looks to be an older, wiser cousin. Alas, #1's leaf has no name.

I Am Enough

2010-09-14T12:15:00.003-05:00

Over the last several years, I've heard many times that we teach people how to treat us. I don't think I totally believe this. Yes, if I accept crappy treatment from someone and they treat me crappy again, I guess you could say that I've taught them that treating me crappy is fine with me. I know that eventually, I will get tired of being treated crappy though and I will change things. I will either stand up for myself and tell them that I will no longer accept their crappy treatment of me or I will take myself out of that situation.

The problem I have with the statement that we "teach people how to treat us" is no child teaches someone to take advantage of them or abuse them, yet so many of us have this happen to us as children. Maybe this abusive treatment is supposedly what teaches us to accept the crappy treatment of others. I don't know. I'll need a lot more therapy before I have it all figured out and I don't know that I have that much money, time or even interest in knowing at this point in my life.

One thing I know for sure is that I did not teach my long time friend to betray me. I was a faithful, true friend to her, so her treatment of me was a total shock. It's been just over a year since I found out about her betrayal and for some reason, the wound to my heart is sore this week. I've been thinking about it a lot. I've learned many things from this. I've learned that I will not accept this treatment of me again, by anyone. I'm a little less likely to trust as completely as I did before, although it hasn't affected the trust and love I have for my two best friends, my closest friends. And the most important thing I've learned from this treatment is that I Am Enough. If I'm not enough for you. That's fine. We can smile and part company and treat each other with kindness. I - AM - ENOUGH! And don't you ever forget it. I sure as hell won't.

*Did you notice the heart shaped cloud in the photo? I heard a noise on my deck, went outside and could find nothing but the cloud. Maybe an angel making sure I didn't miss it?

The Mail has been Fun

2010-09-13T23:18:00.022-05:00

First there were some postcards from my Postcrossing friends across the globe. The first one (above) arrived while I was still in Oklahoma. It's from Michigan. The second came today from Poland.

Saturday is when my wonderful, beautiful feather touchstone arrived! This is where I went to buy the feather touchstone. Julie has a wonderful blog -- Moments of Perfect Clarity and an etsy shop with lots great photos for sale (at this time). I first heard of Julie and all of her wonderful artistic talents through the *gift of jewels* exchange on Se'Lah's blog Necessary Room. So many talented, giving people pass through there. Be sure to notice her wonderful (moo.com) postcard and moo mini cards too!

Monday brought more fun with "Rock My World" love! What can I say, Kim is a fast favorite of mine and a very talented artist. Also discovered on the Necessary Room blog. Check out her blog Queen of Arts to find her etsy shops, rocks and cards. Talent abounds! This photo is really pretty horrible. The colors are much more vibrant than they show here.

Last, but not least, was a treasure of my own making that I had ordered for a dear friend and for myself. Catherine got hers late last week. I was going nuts waiting on mine. But it's here and now I'm going to read it and then save it for my grandchildren. The Blog - part one is the first several months of this blog in book form. Catherine doesn't have a computer at home and had trouble keeping up with the blog at first. Actually she still misses quite a bit of my postings now, especially when I get going and post three times in one day, but she does the best she can. She's such a close friend, that I actually think of her as my heart-sister. For the most part, I've been very blessed in the sister, sister-in-law, friend department. Very blessed.

Musings from my Tan Moleskin Journal notes

2010-09-13T13:28:00.009-05:00

I was looking at other blogs earlier and came across a book title that I wanted to write down. So I grabbed my handy little moleskin journal, that I carry in my purse. This is where I keep such information. The journal itself is beginning to have a nice feel to it. Kind of roughed up from being jostled around in my purse for so long. It feels a little like a cross between an old paper bag and a little like it's alive. That may make no sense whatsoever to you, but it does to me and my odd warped imagination.

I started flipping through the pages to find a place to jot down the name of the book and the author, when I noticed lots of things in the journal that were completed. So, I scratched them off as I came to them, somehow thinking this would show me how much room I actually have left in this little book.

Then I came across notes I'd made while visiting my sister last September or October. Those were the last visits I had with her and they were good times with her. I was going through hell and she was so very supportive. We had some good laughs. She told me funny stories that I had intended to blog about and never got around to.

Like the time she was watching her husband's little brother David for the day and she was going crazy not knowing what to do with him. So, she ended up taking him to McDonald's 3 times in an 8 hour period! He's about the same age as my son and I thought back to the time when they were about 7 or 8 and just thought that was hilarious! Poor Teresa. That had to be a tough day.

Then she told me that she had this cat once, I want to say its name was Alley, that lived in their garage. If I remember correctly, they couldn't get that cat to come into the house. It was a neighborhood stray they adopted, I believe. Teresa once ran over Alley twice in one day while she was coming and going! Alley lived many more years, but I think that was a very painful day for both of them.

I had written down "for Teresa -- Thou Shall Not Be a Smart Ass!". I must have planned to make her an wall quilt with that on it. She would have loved that. And I had this quote written and attributed to her "Even though I'm taking my ADD medication, I'm here, there and everywhere!". A more true statement was never said. Teresa was always all over the place. I sure do miss her.

Last, but not least, I found this prayer that I had written down. As I said, I was going through a very painful period in my life. For a person, such as myself who has the unfortunate habit of eating her emotions, this prayer could be fitting for any bad day.

"Dear Lord, help my poor bruised soul find peace. There are only so many chips I can eat before I explode. Love, Me"

Continued from Below (P.M.)

2010-09-12T18:20:00.005-05:00

It took me just a few minutes to find the song I was talking about in the posting Pure Misery. I found it on youtube, so you can hear it too. It's What the World Needs Now (Abraham, Martin and John) by Tom Clay. The first one just shows the 45 single record (which is what I had and listened to way back then) and has a very clear recording of the song. The second version shows video that matches the song. The recording and video don't always match up when the people talk, but it's not a big deal. I found the second recording first and watched it. I found it interesting, but it made me sad to see it all in color again. My imagination is bad enough. Living color is worse, especially when President Kennedy was shot. But I wanted to give you the option of which to see and listen to. I have no doubt that if youtube had been around when this was first put out, I would have listened to and watched the second one and cried to it, often.

A little update on my granddaughter #1. I went up to Oklahoma for about 5 days. While I was there, she had no nightmares that I'm aware of. We got her a couple of bras (new to her), although I don't know if they would really be called "training" bras like they were when I was a little girl. Her sister had to get some too, although she didn't really need one yet.

We all went shopping for a gift for their daddy's birthday. The girls each paid a little on it themselves. I paid some for their little brother (who didn't have any money of his own). After spending some of the money, #1 decided that she wanted to keep the remainder of her money. She had been trying to give it away to her daddy and to me. Which had us quite worried. It is just not normal for a 9 year old child to say she doesn't want her money. So, now she has plans for it. Which relieves my mind some. She and her sister also made friends with a girl about their age who lives across the street from them.

I forgot to mention in the last posting that they live in a new neighborhood in a new state and are, of course, going to a new school. So many changes, in such a short amount of time.

Pure Misery

2010-09-08T16:08:00.003-05:00

Are you a woman? Do you remember what puberty was like?

Now, set that aside for a moment and think about the first time you experienced the loss of someone you truly loved. The first death of a close family member or good friend. This first, sour taste of grief is just gut wrenching. And as we all know, it doesn't get better with the next experience. You just know that you will live through it.

Go back to the feelings of puberty. Do you remember how miserable you felt? How you would sometimes cry for no reason that you could think of? How you would get so sad? I remember listening to this song that had excerpts from live news coverage when President Kennedy was shot, when Robert Kennedy was shot and from Martin Luther King Junior's "I Have a Dream" speech and then coverage of when he was shot. I would listen to it over and over and over and cry and cry. I remember hating myself at times and everyone around me other times. Those hormones flying around in our bodies are nothing to take lightly! They are mean little things, I'm telling you!

Well, as it turns out, my poor granddaughter #1 is indeed mourning her mother's loss and trying to understand it while she is indeed entering puberty. Lord, help us all. If you are reading this and of the praying sort, please pray. For #1, for her father and for her siblings who will be within striking distance.

Wait for it......

2010-09-05T22:25:00.003-05:00

As you know, my daughter-in-law passed away a little over 5 months ago. My grandchildren are dealing with this with various degrees of difficulty. Right now, my oldest granddaughter (she's 9) is having a very hard time with it. The kids and their dad came down here to see us and other family members this weekend. Tomorrow, I'm headed up to Oklahoma about the same time they do. I'm hoping that having me up there for a little while will help her some.

I'll be checking in and trying to keep up with all of my fun things -- like postcrossing and the gift of jewels. :) I don't know when I'll be able to show you what I've gotten through the mail though because I don't know how long I'll be up in OK. So, y'all will just have to be patient and wait for all the extra fun when I get back. OK?

By the way, "wait" was the Sunday Scribblings prompt word for this week.

Water and Sheets

2010-09-03T23:18:00.002-05:00

The water is supposed to be "good" now. I'm trusting in that and have started to use it directly from the tap again to brush my teeth and wash my hands and even to give water to my dogs. I have open bottles of water that I purchased that I'll use up before I drink the water again myself. I do run it through a Brita filter jug regardless.

I also wanted to tell you that I recently splurged on 500 count 100% cotton sheets. Now, I am a !00% cotton sheet snob and I don't apologize for it, but I've never had any with a thread count that high before. My sister used to tell me that she had some that were 800 count! I've never even seen any that are 800 count! I don't know where she shopped, but it must have been a great find, wherever it was. Anyway, I washed up my new sheets and pulled them out of the dryer earlier today. I went to clean out the lent trap of the dryer to get it ready for the next load I'd be drying and the lent was even soft! I can't wait to lay my tired body down on those new sheets tonight! Hon--ney. I'll let you know if I sleep any better on them. (smiling big here)

I found another Heart Rock!

2010-09-02T21:26:00.008-05:00

I couldn't believe it! I was coming home from the post office.

I've been thinking a lot about my sister Teresa the last week. The last couple of weeks. Heck, the last -- almost 5 months now, since she passed so suddenly. I had gone to the post office twice today. I hadn't been to the post office at all this week. I've been in a funk and I haven't left the house. What can I say? I'm not really depressed, but I would much rather watch movies or work on sudoku puzzles right now than just about anything else on earth. OK, I'll leave the puzzles and movies to see my momma, son, grandkids and my best friends and maybe some members of my extended family, but not just anyone.

So, I go to the post office to get the mail and with the main objective of mailing my nephew S's birthday card. It just happens to be S's birthday -- today! Which means the card is already late. "S" is Teresa's youngest son. And I have a heck of a time remembering his birthday during a good year. This is not a good year.

So, I get home from the post office and I go in the house, look in my purse and there is S's birthday card! Damn! So, I grab up some of the postcards I'd had made to show the post office clerk and I head back to the post office. When I get there, I mail S's birthday card before anything else. Then I chat with Debbie about moo.com's postcards and show her the one of my son and grandkids. Then I show her as many as I can, until another customer comes in. Debbie loves postcards! Then I head home.

As I get home, for the second time, after finally mailing S's birthday card -- I find another heart shaped rock. This time in the walkway to the house.

I didn't put all that together at the time. It wasn't until I was sitting here writing this that I did that. I did think that Teresa was the guide to it though, from the beginning.

Although, after my oldest granddaughter called tonight, I'm not so sure. It may have been her mother M. She died 12 days before Teresa. My oldest granddaughter is having a very hard time with her mother's death. It has only been 5 months, but she seems so much worse now than earlier. I'm very concerned about her. I told her about finding the rock and how it was possible that her momma's spirit had helped me find it for her. That I'm going to give it to her when I get to see her this weekend and I want her to hold it when she's thinking of her momma. Dear Lord, I hope it helps. I hope I can help her. If Teresa is the one who really helped me find it. I know she'll be OK with this. She was heartsick over these kids losing their mom. They are all younger than her kids. It's a crappy situation for all six of these kids from these two families. Period.

I want to Share

2010-09-02T17:46:00.016-05:00

I told you a while back that I joined Postcrossing. Well, I've had two days that I've gone to the post office and had postcards in my mail box from other postcrossing folks! I want to share them with you as I get them. So, today, I'm playing a little bit of catch up, but not too much, because today I got four in the mail and I'd received two in the past. So, I'm only behind on two. Here are the first two:

From Ohio:

From France:

Now, here are the ones I got today.
From the Czech Republic:

From Great Brittan, a photo she took herself of Mozart's grave in Vienna! I do love the ones that are made of photos they took themselves.

This one is from California. It's also made from a photo taken by the sender. The plant is occitillo and the background is the coachella valley.

Last, but certainly not least, this postcard is from a part of Holland called Fryslan.

When Creativity Strikes....

2010-09-01T17:52:00.005-05:00

I was packing up a couple of things for my *Gift of Jewels* secret friend that I got from Se'lah and her blog Necessary Room this morning. I love to try to spread out the love into more than one package. I'll have to admit that I don't think I did very well at this last year, but I learned a lot from it. The person I got last year got several postcards from me, but in reality, I have no idea if she ever got them or not. So, in my wild, pessimistic mind, I fear that she never did. So, this year, I'm sending a little more. Nothing grand or extravagant, just a little more to let my secret friend know that I am truly thinking of her.

So, as I said I packaged up a couple of things and then I realized that the other "thing" I had wouldn't fit in the little padded envelopes I was using. And then I realized that the only other padded envelope I had was one that I had written an address on ages ago and that it had been too small for the book I had intended to send at the time. I had set it aside hoping that maybe I'd be able to use the same envelope to send something to the same person in the future. Well, that never happened and probably won't. So, I was setting in front of my computer, pondering what to do when I glanced over to an envelope I had gotten in the mail when my rocks arrived. It was all decorated (mail art!) and I loved it! Creativity struck me like a ---- like --- like -- like something that strikes! (I'm sorry, all I can think of are things like a cobra or a rattlesnake or lightning and I wanted it to be a good strike.) Anyway, I remembered that I had some handy matte gel medium, which I had never actually used, so I grabbed it.

Then I grabbed that envelope that had been laying around so long and a bag of fabric scraps and just went to town. I started in the center and covered the address. That was really all I had planned to do, but I found that I couldn't stop. Honestly, I'm surprised that I didn't continue on and cover the whole thing. Come to think of it, I just might!

What do you think? Should I continue on to the back too?

Faith Haiku

2010-08-30T16:26:00.003-05:00

death and grief hurt me
the road has been bumpy long
I need faith right now

grief eludes yet hounds
claws at me with dirty nails
soul says keep your faith

faith in living life
full rich happy creative
life to the fullest

Faith is the prompt word from Sunday Scribblings this week. It has really inspired me. I first put one haiku on this post and have come put and added two more. I wonder if I'll stop here or add more?

Boiling Water

2010-08-29T18:56:00.002-05:00

What do you think of when you see that title? Those two words bring all kinds of images to mind for me. Like when I feel that I'm in boiling water and all kinds of things are going wrong in my life. I know that eventually, the waters will calm and cool and life will get back to normal -- or as normal as my life ever seems to be. They remind me of turmoil which I guess is basically the same thing I just described except that turmoil doesn't necessarily have to be about my life in particular. It could be our country or just one situation.

Well, in this case, boiling water is quite literal. We are having to boil our water to use it right now. Yuck. Double yuck. I cannot express the "yuck" I feel for this situation. I've told you that I live in a rural area. I also live near a lake. I assume our water basically comes from there. At some point each summer, they "turn" the water, which makes it smelly and dark. I hate that situation also. When that happens, I play little mind games with myself and pretend (at least while I'm showering in the nasty stuff) that I live in the days of having to go to the creek and get the water in a bucket. Now, I never try to justify the creek water coming from a modern day shower, it's my fantasy and I can do anything I want with it.

The need to boil though, well it's supposed to be safe to use if we boil it for 2 minutes and let it cool. We're boiling it for our dogs, but it has a nasty film on top after it's cooled that we find quite unappealing. I've decided to go ahead and buy bottled water for drinking, cooking and even brushing my teeth. My hubby says that the water is still safe to shower in and wash clothes and dishes. For that -- I'm having to pretend that I'm in Mexico. I wouldn't drink the water or use it to cook or brush my teeth, but I would shower and wash clothes in it since I'm adding soap to kill the bacteria. This is supposed to last for at least a week.

I know that in the grand scheme of things that are a misery to folks and true hardships, this is nothing. It's just a pimple on the butt of life, but it's a pimple on my life-butt and it's irritating. Until next time....

Spread a little Love

2010-08-28T16:20:00.004-05:00

I told you about getting these fun rocks in a previous post. When I went to Dallas earlier this week, I spread the love a little a left a couple in the places I visited. The first one is at a Chipotle's restaurant in Mesquite, Texas.

Later I left one on a water fountain in an office building I had to go to. Remember that you can click on the photos to enlarge them if you want to be able to read the rocks easier.

I wonder how long the rocks stayed at their locations? I hope someone found them and fell in love with them and took them home. I was going to put one in a tree knot hole, but the hole looked deep and I didn't want it to fall in. Then I noticed a tag hanging from the tree on a nail. It got me to wondering if it had been there for years or if it was something someone had put there like I had been doing. I'm going to make sure to take my camera again next time I go there and if it's still there, I'll take a picture of it for y'all to see. Then you can tell me what you think it is.

This is for YOU -- Catherine

2010-08-26T12:13:00.005-05:00

You may not have noticed, but I recently changed the photo of myself on my side bar on the right of my blog. I never really like the photos of myself. They always come out looking like me now instead of what I looked like when I was 25 or so! Yes, I realize that I live in a photo fantasy land. A place of wishful thinking. I freely admit this. But you know what, I'm OK with that, right up until I see the real thing. Anyway, my friend Catherine actually liked the former photo of me that I had up on the side bar. So, I thought I'd put in on the blog so that she can see it one last time and be able to find it if she really needs to see it again in the future. So, Catherine -- this is for you. Enjoy!

My Dream House

2010-08-23T15:04:00.003-05:00

I often think of moving out of this house, especially lately. If it were not for the fact that my father built it, I would have moved long ago. A log home was never my dream.

My dream house

Would be one level.

The laundry room would be in the house and there would be a place to hang clothes as I get them out of the dryer.

It would be on about 5 or 10 acres (I have over 27 now).

It would be one of those cute little farm houses. (I don't know the name of the style)

It would have a deep wrap around porch with rocking chairs and screen doors.

There would be more than ample storage. So much that I could keep my Christmas tree decorated and just cover it each year and wheel it on in to the "Christmas" storage area.

I'd have an actual guest room.

I would have a room for a studio and I'd put a Murphy bed in it for extra guests.

The kitchen would be much bigger than the one I have now and it would be so nice that I would actually want to cook.

There would be room for a dining table somewhere.

I would have a dishwasher and a window over the kitchen sink.

I would even have a fireplace.

My dream house would have no cedar in sight. There would be no mud. And it would have a claw foot bathtub.

Ahhh to dream, the impossible dream.

I Get to Wash!

2010-08-22T17:27:00.002-05:00

Two years ago, I bought one of those fancy, energy efficient washing machines that is computerized and has a larger capacity drum. It was on the lower end of the line of all of the different ones available, but I was so thrilled to have it. Two weeks ago, I started having the first trouble with it that I'd had since I bought it.

Unfortunately, the trouble I had was major trouble and it was going to cost as much to fix the machine as it would to buy a new one. That really pissed me off! So, I did indeed buy a new one. Momma reminded me that daddy used to say, "the more buttons something has, the more things can go wrong with it". I switched back to a brand I was more familiar with and went with a more energy efficient model with lots less bells and whistles.

They delivered it today. I've been without a working washer for about 2 weeks. You want to talk about a mountain of dirty clothes? I didn't think so. At least if you want to find me, you'll know where to look for the next few days. It will take a while to catch up. After all, I can't wash while hubby is sleeping (he works nights) and I don't want to wash when it's dark. I have to go outside to get the laundry room remember. The dogs go berserk until they realize they get to go too. So, it takes a while. The first load is almost ready to come out. More later.....

Movies

2010-08-21T20:36:00.004-05:00

I love movies! When I was much younger, I wanted to be a movie critic, but I realized that there were only a few of those jobs around and someone would probably have to die for me to get one. Now, at the time, I thought the only movie critics were the ones that I could personally pull up on my own TV in Dallas, TX -- so that would have been local Dallas area critics and the ones who had national syndicated shows. There was no such thing as the Internet back then or even home computers, so I didn't realize there were as many local movie critic jobs as there probably actually were. Then I realized that I'd have to sit through a lot of "crap" movies that I had no desire whatsoever to see and I kind of moved my dream into a different field.

I still loved movies though. Sometimes, my Momma and I would get together on a weekend day and she and I would see three movies in one day. I know that sounds like a lot, but it was fun to us. I'd just leave my son at home with his daddy. They got to bond and I got a fairly cheap day out. The price of a matinee was much less back then and I didn't have babysitting costs.

Now I live in the country where there aren't as many options, movie prices are much higher and they seem to all be made for teenagers or young men. There aren't that many that I go to the theater for any longer. I do miss that at times. Tonight, was not one of those times. I just watched Hachi: A Dog's Tale at home. I rented it from netflix. (Despite what I say after this, I did like the movie.) If I had watched it in a theater, I would have sniffled and my throat would have been extremely sore from trying not to cry in public. At home, I sobbed. This movie really tore me up. I won't ruin it for those who haven't seen it, but let me just say that it hit me hard. OK, I'll say this much -- to me, it was not just about loyalty, but also about profound grief. Which is probably why it hit home for me. My eyes hurt, are swollen and red and I only have half a box of tissues left. I'm off to see if there is anything funny on netflix on demand.

I Really Like to Post

2010-08-21T15:45:00.011-05:00

I really like to post on my blog. I mean I really like to do this. I feel like I'm talking to a group of friends, even if I have no idea if anyone is actually reading any of it. My goal is to post every day. I do miss days of posting -- sometimes, many days in a row. Then I'll come back and post three times on one day. I'll get lots of ideas and I don't want to end up with them flying out of my little old head. You'd think I'd keep a book for post ideas. I've thought of that, but there never seems to be one handy when I think of an idea, although I have at least half a dozen blank books around here somewhere. And if you have a peri-menopausal mind like mine, you know that I can hold a thought about like a colander holds water. You young ladies will understand this one day. Don't worry. Your time is coming. Anyway, that forgetfulness is my life at this point.

So, when I was visiting Tracey's blog Quietly Kickin and Screamin yesterday and she mentioned the blog Sunday Scribblings as a place to go for ideas and inspiration for blog postings, I headed on over. They post their new idea on Sundays (just like their name says) and since I looked in for the first time on Friday, I decided to just take a look around and grab an idea that suited me. This is what I'll try to do whenever I want to write and I have no idea of my own in the future. This idea comes from June 12, 2010 -- Superhero(ine).

I have a couple of real life Superheroines and a Superhero. The first is my Momma.

She went to work in the early 60's when most women were still stay-at-home moms. At least most of the moms I knew were. Then when I was 8, our dad went to work overseas and she basically became a single parent. When he returned, they divorced, and she became a real single parent. She raised my sister and myself with patience and grace. She made sure we had the things we truly needed and enough of the things we wanted to feel special and for life to feel magical at times. But she also made sure we didn't get everything we wanted. I think that is a gift, in and of, itself. Momma didn't drive back then, so it wasn't easy for her to get things done for us, but she did. She always found a way. Even if it meant riding three different buses in each direction to do it. She is the most patient person I know and she has the ability to stay out of arguments that my sister and I would have. That ability irritated me during the arguments (because I wanted her to side with me!) and I admire it greatly now. Momma and I have always had a good relationship. I'm grateful for that. She is my biggest Superheroine!

My other Superheroine is my friend Catherine. She is without a doubt the most honest person I have ever known. She will not give her opinion unless she is asked for it, but baby if you ask for it, you better put your big girl panties on and be ready the real, honest answer because that is what you are going to get. She never answers in a rude or cruel way, but she does answer truthfully and completely. I love that about her. Lots of folks can't handle it. Like some of the people she has worked with over the years. She doesn't play office politics. She's honest. There are many, many other things I love about Catherine. Things that I admire, but her honesty is the thing that makes her one of my Superheroines.

My Superhero is my son.

He got married very young. Right out of high school. A couple of weeks after graduation I think. He went into the Air Force just a couple of weeks after the wedding as a way to continue his education and to provide for his young bride and himself. He became a father after about a year and a half of marriage. Before long, two more kiddos came along. He reenlisted in the military, knowing it was the best option for his family. He plans to make it a career at this point. He is a good provider for his family. He is a recent widower and he is making sure his kids are OK. He is taking care of things. He knows he can call on us, but he wants to do it himself. He is a good man. A kind man. A good father. I cannot begin to tell you how proud of him that I am without dissolving into tears. My son is my pride and joy and it's because he's done it all himself. I'm happy to help him in any way I can. I want to help him. I hope that I can take some of the pressures off of his back at times. I wish for him joy and happiness, peace and love. He is my Superhero.

Little Tidbits and Updates or What's Going on

2010-08-20T11:37:00.007-05:00

I told you that I had joined Postcrossing over the weekend. Yesterday, one of the first postcards I sent arrived in NY! I get to send off another one now. This one will go to SC. Of course the other 4 are still traveling to their various countries. They may take a while to get to their new homes.

I showed you the first 20 postcards I had made at moo in this post. I only have three of those original 20 postcards left. Thankfully, my new order of 60 postcards have been shipped and should be here by Monday. I'm so excited at the thought of getting them! I cannot wait to look at each of them and see if they look at good as I hope they do. I'll plot and plan which ones to make again and which ones to skip. Who to send this one to or that one. It's really been fun! I've had requests for some of them! Can you believe that?

You may remember that I had a vanity license plate on my car related to quilting. Well, I'm still a quilter, but I don't feel that the old license plate represents me any longer. So, I got a new one.

This plate reminds me of what I've come through. It reminds me of my new mantra. After I ordered my new plates, I got an email message from a lady who works in the My Plates public relations department. She wanted to know why I picked the plate combination that I did. So, I told her the significance of the word "enough" for me (which you all have heard before, so I'll spare you now) and I told her that the "T" had come to represent my sister Teresa. This is what I said: "She died very suddenly and unexpectedly in April, younger than me. She would want me to live my life to the fullest and to be as happy as I can possibly be. When I see that part of the plate, I will remember her and remember to seize the day."

The Houston Quilt Festival will be held Nov. 4-7 this year. Last year they had a wonderful exhibit of photos taken by quilters. It was one of my favorite exhibits in the show! This year, they're doing it again, plus they're adding a haiku exhibit! I love trying to write a haiku. I sent in three, the maximum number you can enter, last night. I probably should have stewed over them and tried to make sure every word was just right, but I wanted it to be fun. So, I have entered the Houston Quilt Festival! For the first time ever! If I get in, great. If not, that's OK too. I had fun.

The Summer Day by Mary Oliver

2010-08-19T19:13:00.004-05:00

I saw this today on one of my very favorite blogs - Ornamental - and thought it was delightful. I just had to share it with you! If you've never stopped by Ornamental, be sure you do and be sure you have a few minutes to spare when you do. It cannot be rushed. Nina is such a wonderful writer that I often wish her blog was a book that I could hold in my hands and revisit over and over. She's a wonderful photographer also.

The Summer Day

Who made the world?

Who made the swan, and the black bear?

Who made the grasshopper?

This grasshopper, I mean-

the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-

who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?

- Mary Oliver

A Kiva Story -- Inspiring!

2010-08-19T16:46:00.003-05:00

Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Teen Hosts Sweet 16 Party to Raise Awareness and Funds for Kiva

On August 21, Keara, a teen from California, will be hosting a birthday celebration for more than 100 friends as a way to raise money to provide loans to the world's poor through Kiva. The pool party will include typical teenager party favorite, such as tacos, sodas, and a DJ playing dance music, but instead of the extravagant outfits and presents, Keara has asked guests to donate between five and twenty-five dollars to the Menlo-Atherton High School Lending Team that she set up last year.

“It’s inspirational to hear about a teenager willing to give up attention and gifts and instead turn the focus to the most needy,” said Premal Shal, president of Kiva. “I admire Keara for being willing to forego the excesses of over-the-top parties and instead figure out a way to make an impact on the world.”

“I’ve been lending through Kiva with my allowance for a few years now,” stated Keara, who turns 16 on August 1st. “Since then I’ve funded eight entrepreneurs in countries like Togo, Guatemala, Ghana and Peru who were single wage-earners needing extra money to grow their businesses in order to support their families. I’ve funded a seamstress, a grocer and makers of soda, ice-cream and cosmetics. I thought it would be cool to use my 16th birthday party as a way to raise awareness of how we all can make an impact in the world.”

The funds raised at the party will be distributed to new entrepreneurs by members of the school’s Lending Team in September.

We would like to extend a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Keara and a huge THANK YOU for all of her efforts in raising awareness for Kiva!

Posted on www.kivanews.blogspot.com by Mollie Casper at 7:01
Labels: Kiva Lenders, Kiva Supporters

This is Funny

2010-08-18T18:51:00.002-05:00

You know all those emails you get that warn you about some dreaded something that is going to happen or could happen, especially if you don't forward the email on to 7 of your very best-est friends in the whole wide world? Well, if you've ever thought any of that was just a tad odd, go read this blog posting and see just how funny it all sounds when you put it all together! Thank you Shelagh for the laugh!

Poem by Maya Stein

2010-08-18T00:18:00.005-05:00

I found this poem tonight and it just about knocked the wind out of me. It describes so well what grief feels like -- to me and I'm sure many, many others. The author is Maya Stein. Her website is linked in her name at the bottom of the poem. I found it while on this wonderful blog called 37 days. I still have not finished exploring it. I have a feeling I'll be there a lot. Enjoy the poem.

let the world spin as it spins

Eat the last cookies in the box.

Wear the same pair of jeans two

weeks in a row. See the orchid die, leaf

by leaf. Wipe the countertop carelessly,

so it’s sticky as spit the next time

you lean on your elbows wondering

what’s for dinner. Watch hours

of television. Call for pizza, for Chinese,

for the cable company to give you even

more channels. Drive by the gym

without skipping a beat. Wash your hair only

when it starts to wilt, when the mirror

produces someone who doesn’t look like she wants

to get laid. Think about sex constantly.

Order cocktails. Play pool. Spend your money

on a massage, on t-shirts from the warehouse sale,

on inflation-priced bagels from the café down the street.

Ignore the obvious fact that the sheets

need changing. Occupy your bed gratuitously.

When you’re done reading for the night,

flop the pages open, straining the jacket.

Allow the avocados to ripen beyond repair.

Stain the kitchen sink with grape stems,

mango peels, olive pits with the meat

still clinging. Use vast quantities of paper towels

for a simple spill of water.

Lavish attention on the minute landscape

between your eyebrows.

Lose time. Ditch the mail into the bulging

plastic bag near your desk. Almost mistake it

for trash. Abandon the task of fixing

the dresser drawer. Turn your car

into a wastebasket.

And when it comes, fall with extravagant

ugliness. Grieve noisily into the balls of your fists.

Push your heels against the carpet, your chest squirming.

Feel the walls of the house vibrate with your pain.

Make pockmarks of your heart.

Collapse if you have to. It is like this.

The world spins as it spins.

No one knows,

even though we all know

this is between

you and you alone.

So yield. Commit your entire body.

Recognize your own astonishing anguish.

Tear it from your skin like a wolf

eviscerates her trapped leg. Shriek like

the downed bird you are.

Invest wholly in your damage.

Lap up each tumescent despair. Swallow

the pinbones of your loss. Caress

every razor edge of not enough. Gift yourself

long, bruising hours of hopelessness.

The world spins as it spins.

Your life is on that same axis,

half shadow, half radiance

and turning, always turning.

-Maya Stein

The Little Things in Life

2010-08-17T13:22:00.008-05:00

Sometimes the little things in life bring so much fun and joy. I love post it notes! I love that I can write on them and leave them just about anywhere. I love their wonderful, bright colors. They are f-u-n! I wish I had every single type out there. I just know I need them for something.

The urge for post it notes was strong when I was in Oklahoma the last time. My son was headed to the store and I was going to be watching the kids. I was fighting the desire to go to the office supply store myself later, so I asked him to pick me up some post it notes. I didn't think I had to specify "bright and fun". Well, I learned a lesson. These will now be going to his dad. He can use them for everyday, boring whatever he wants to stuff.

Yesterday when I was out running my errands, I ended up in Athens, close to the Office Depot. It pulled me in. I couldn't stay away any longer. Here are the post it notes that I got.

Don't these post it notes just make you want to write? Aren't they happy? Men have a lot to learn about post it notes. Other things that make me happy at the office supply store are college ruled notebook paper and colorful Sharpie pens. I need many more colorful Sharpie pens! Many more. And a very favorite of mine that I actually forgot to photograph is Sanford Magic Rub #1954 erasers. They are the best of the best in my book.

I'd have more to show you, I'm sure, but my friend Beth called while I was there. It's very hard to shop while talking on the phone. I know I forgot to get the post it "labels"! I'd been drooling over every commercial I had seen of those for weeks. So, I'll have to go back soon. I love office supply stores all the time, but at this time of year, when everyone is getting school supplies, I just crave them. I don't have to get school supplies any longer, but I still feel the pull to do it. I guess some things never change.

FUN Stuff!

2010-08-16T21:35:00.013-05:00

Today, I got to pick up my new license plates that say ENOUGH. I also got lots of fun stuff in the mail. Just look at these wonderful rocks and the great decorated envelope they came in!

If you love these rocks as much as I do and want to get some of your own, go check out Kim's etsy shop.

Check out Kim's blog here. It's great too!

While I was downtown picking up the license plates, I came across this cool statue. I was hoping it was a fountain, which I am almost sure it was in a previous life, but it is indeed a statue at this point.

If it had angels on it instead of fairies, I probably would have sat on the bench and waited for them to open! Well, on second thought, I would have just gone back on Wednesday since that's when they open next. It's a little hot for waiting more than 24 hours outside.

I also joined Postcrossing over the weekend. I mailed off 5 postcards today. One each to Finland, Russia, Poland, the Netherlands and to New York. I was surprised that I only got one address for the USA, but then again you had to check a box saying that you wanted to be able to send and receive from the country you live in. So, I guess it's not that surprising when I stop to think of it. You can only mail off 5 cards to start. Then as the cards you mail arrive, you can mail off another. Eventually, I think you can have up to 6 in the mail at one time. I thought it would be fun to use the postcards I got from moo that I showed you here. I had already sent all the ones of my son and his kids to family. So, they didn't go to any postcrossing folks. When I start getting postcards, I'll show them to you.

Boston 3 Rangers 1

2010-08-15T13:39:00.025-05:00

My friend Kari treated me to a Rangers/Boston baseball game last night. She's a Boston fan and I'm a Rangers fan. You may have guessed from the title of this posting that she had just a little more fun than I did at the game.

It was a really hot night. As we drove up to the ball park, I noticed that the temperature showing on my car thermometer was 106, but I would not have been surprised if it had risen by the time we stopped to park with the valet. Yea, I know, but I have a bad knee, so I treat myself to valet when I go to the ballgame.

Despite the temperatures, the place was packed.

Kari, being a Boston fan, got a really good shot of this player. Sorry, I don't know who he is. If you're a Boston fan, you probably do. I'm hoping Kari will tell me and I can add his name. Anyway, there is a large Boston fan base here. The games are always interesting. **Note from Kari -- "Clay Buchholz. He is one of our best pitchers. Only his second full year up. In his second major league start he pitched a no hitter!"

I was very sad to see "Salty" in a Boston uniform. I'll admit it, I'm a Rangers fan, but I don't follow baseball all that well. So, I had no idea that he had been traded to Boston. I just knew he wasn't on our team any longer and I missed him. I think Salty is a dang good catcher.

Now, one of the things I've always enjoyed about going to games is "people watching". And when things aren't exactly going the way they should for the home team, your team, you not only people watch, but you look for things that make you happy. Like the view you get of Cantu when he's up to bat.

And a little Texas pride!

The highlights of the game for me were a single home run by Josh Hamilton and the stealing of third base by a kiddo between innings. I don't remember the child's name, but he had 30 seconds to run from his starting place to third base, literally steal it and take it back to where he started. He got back there with 4 seconds to spare! For winning -- he got to keep the base! I was so thrilled for him. As stated above, the Rangers lost 3 - 1 and Kari and I (along with 48,028 other people headed out to our car). When we finally got up toward the front of the line to wait and look for the car, I could literally see it. (mine is the dark car on the other side of the silver one, yes it's kind of hard to see in the dark -- click on the photo to enlarge it and see PeTunia a little better)

I'd never been in that position before. We started chatting with a police officer and I told her I could see my car. Thankfully, she told me to go tell the valet and get my keys. We were soon on our way. This is what the temperature reading was at 10:39 PM -- 101!
.

Ahh...thank goodness for a/c! We won't even talk about the traffic after the game. I'm just glad we went to the game last night instead of the game today.

Found One!

2010-08-12T20:40:00.004-05:00

You will never believe what I found today! I had just returned from the post office, got out of my car in the driveway and looked down as I was walking to the gate. It's always a good idea to look down as you walk in a rural area (at least around here) because you just never know when there will be a copperhead snake laying across your path. Anyway, I looked down and there was a heart shaped rock -- right there -- in my driveway! Or more precisely, a broken heart. Perfect for the past year I've had. I wish I had taken a photo of it right then and there, but I was so excited to find my first heart rock that I just grabbed it!

You may not know this about me, but I love heart shaped rocks. I order them when I find them on etsy and I try to win them in auctions on eBay. I'm a heart shaped rock sucker. I like the big ones better than the little ones, but it was the little ones that I first started getting -- for a jewelry workshop I was going to take. I didn't get to take it because of the passing of my daughter-in-law and being in CA with my son and his children at the time of the workshop. I have faith that I'll get to take the workshop at some point. Until then, I'll just keep on loving heart shaped rocks and if I'm really lucky, maybe I'll find a few more myself!

Woo Hoo -- Moo!!

2010-08-12T11:49:00.007-05:00

Have I ever told you how much I love Moo? Oh my goodness! This place is fabulous! I love it, love it, love it. I've ordered from them three times now and I'm about to order again just because I loved my last order so much.

My last order was for postcards. They are, without a doubt, the best quality postcards I have ever seen in my life. They are thick and glossy and fabulous. I honestly can't say enough good things about them. But I do have one complaint and I did share it with them. I would love to be able to tell them how many of each image I want when I'm ordering the cards. As it's set up now, they divide the images into the number of cards you're ordering. Makes sense for a lot of people, I'm sure, and is definitely easier on them. But I would have loved to have 12 of my son and his family and 1 or 2 of several others. I couldn't do that. I had to go with 5 each of 4 designs.

Now I have to go figure out which photos to get more postcards from. I'm so excited!

Wild Hairs and S'mores

2010-08-11T17:17:00.009-05:00

I got a wild hair last Friday and decided to go see my grandchildren. Since they live in OK now, it's not a big deal to do just that. It was 9:20 PM when I jumped into the car and headed out. I got there a little after 2 AM. Went on to bed and got up around 9 or so to start visiting. Unfortunately, #1 was sick. Just running a slight fever and not feeling all that well. She had been home from the sitter on Friday, but I figured she'd be well by then. No. She wasn't. In fact, she continued to feel puny, but not horrible all weekend. Sunday night, I noticed that her tonsils were swollen. On Monday her dad took her to the doctor and found out she had strep throat and would be contagious for 48 more hours. I left then. But back to the weekend....

Since #1 was sick, we didn't get to do any of the things I had wanted to do on my next visit. Going out and exploring being number one on my list. So, inspired by Christina, I made the kids s'mores! They had never had one before!

I'm guessing that JT didn't like his very much because he only ate just a little of it before leaving the rest on the table and going on to play on the computer. I told him I was going to throw the rest in the trash and he said "OK".

Number 2, their dad and I ate all of ours!

Number 1 ate almost all of hers before saying she didn't want any more. Then she announced that she hoped she didn't see anymore chocolate, marshmallows or graham crackers for several months. Bless her heart.

A couple of things that we joked about while I was there: the kids know that I have a strong aversion to blue people and blue on people. I know it's a little weird. One of my little quirks, I guess. I think it's the blue next to the white of the eyes that really gets to me, but I couldn't help kidding #2 about her blue nail polish. It was in need of a touch up.

Their mother, loved Ramen Noodles. She passed the love on to the girls. When I first got to the house in CA after M had passed, there was probably 2 cases of Ramen Noodles in the pantry! M had not wanted to run out! It's taken a little over 4 months, but they have been eaten, mostly by the girls. Here is a photo of the last package of Ramen Noodles. The girls argued over who would get it.

Days 10 - 16 of 29 Gifts in 29 Days

2010-08-04T19:43:00.005-05:00

I haven't posted about my giving lately. I've even been posting irregularly on the 29 Gifts website. I'm still giving, but my "gives" aren't anything out of the ordinary, so they haven't felt blog-worthy. That is not what I signed up for though. I signed up to do the giving and to tell about it. Now, I must admit that I don't like the telling part much. I prefer to do my giving and keep it private. In the next rounds of giving, I plan to do just that.

During these days, I've donated to the East Texas Food Bank, bought my sister-in-law a salad, set up my hubby's coffee pot for the next days and worked several days on cleaning and de-cluttering projects around the house.

Some good things have come to me during this time also. I got to have great phone visits with my momma, my friends Beth and Catherine. I go to visit in person with many wonderful female friends who have I have not seen in 4 months or so and seeing my sister-in-law is always a gift. And I did not have to go in for jury duty yesterday. All cases were handled in some way that ended up not needing court and jurors. Yippee!

It's easy for me to pick places to donate money to. The hard part is figuring out how to give without spending money or without it costing more than a dollar or two. That is going to be one of my challenges in a coming round of gives.

People I Love who have gone before Me

2010-08-02T16:48:00.003-05:00

I have an artistic soul. As an artistic person, I have been drawn to shrines that I see in art magazines. I often want to buy one that I've seen online too. The thing about one made by someone else is that they aren't personal, unless of course you order one and pay the big bucks to have it personalized. So, as part of my de-cluttering and part of my putting things that I love in my new computer/sewing area --- I have started a shrine of sorts. The mouse pad I use has my favorite photo of my father on it. It was taken during the summer of 1983, I think. I have the original photo that needs to go in a frame and I have a wonderful painting of the same photo that my sister-in-law Charmaine did for me. It's downstairs. My father built the house we live in. We've been here now more than 20 years. That is amazing to me.

Part of my shrine in progress is a photo of my dear friend Marianne. I miss her so often. Her smile and laughter and, more than anything else, just talking to her. These are the same things that I miss about my sister Teresa. How do you like her jar so far? It's got an Anglican rosary in it that I made and she bought. She loved the rosary and I did too. I almost didn't sell it to her. She's wearing it in my favorite photo of her, although in this small print, I don't think you can see it. It was around her neck during her funeral service also. I asked my brother-in-law for it and he got it back before she was cremated. The only other things in the jar right now are some of the marbles given to us during her funeral service. If I ever find the story in the Chicken Soup for the Soul books that I know I've read it in, I'll put it here, if I can get permission to. Or I'll at least tell you all the title and which book it's in. The other thing I have of Teresa's is a small grocery list written on a page from a "Future Planner". It's wrinkled and in her unique hand writing. I love it. I plan to get it framed on acid free mats so that it will last. This is my start to a shrine to those I love who have gone before me. It will be all around me for now.

De-Cluttering My Life

2010-08-02T14:48:00.004-05:00

I've recently started a long process. The process of de-cluttering my life. I'm starting on my house. I work on the bedroom on the days my hubby is off work. I take on the downstairs when he is working. He works nights and is on a rotating schedule so if he's off this weekend, he works next weekend and the same goes with the different days of the week. A couple on, a couple off and it rotates. After 7 months, I think he's finally starting to get used to it. At least the sleeping part of it. We still haven't quite gotten the chores back into a normal routine yet. It's hard for an old guy of 51 to adjust to this type of schedule.

And then of course, I've been out of town so much this year. Very, unusual for me, but then this has been an unusual year, to say the least. An unusual, difficult, horrible year.

Anyway, back to the de-cluttering. I rearranged the computer/sewing area last night. It took me a few nights just to move things and they are still a mess. Will be for a while. That is the next step in the upstairs project. This is what the computer/sewing area looks like now:

I love it! So much more room than a skinny, flimsy, 4 foot collapsible table. The challenge will be to keep is as clutter free as possible. I have a tendency to clutter. I'm trying to put things on this table that I use all the time. Things that make me happy, and only those things. I'm not finished. I don't have everything plugged in or cleared away or even cleaned off. But I have started.

Here is a photo of some of my fabric.

There is even more downstairs. I've actually gotten rid of three huge tubs of fabric, but I plan to get rid of lots more of it. I'll also be going through quilting books, novels and just about anything and everything else too. I'm going to get new dressers and get rid of the horrible thing I've been using for so very many years that now reminds me of bad times. I may burn the old dresser and dance around it naked and raise some hell. Or I may try to give it away on Craigslist. Right now the bonfire is looking good to me. A ceremony to the new me...a celebration of the uncluttered me...the one who is enough...a celebration of knowing I'm enough and telling anyone who doesn't think so to take a hike.

After the Dentist, A Little Fun......

2010-07-28T19:22:00.006-05:00

For some reason, the older I get the more I hate going to the dentist. So, when the receptionist called yesterday and said they had a cancellation for today and that I was overdue for a cleaning, would I like to take the appointment -- I was more than a little surprised to hear myself say "yes". I was surprised that I actually went too. And ever so thankful when it was all over. I don't even like the polishing of my teeth. I decided to celebrate when it was over and I stopped at one of the little antique places on the way home.

The Lindy Mall is a fun little place right on Hwy. 31 in Malakoff, TX. It has the items of many vendors. You never really know what you'll find in there. Today, I was looking for a clear glass canning jar with a glass top. I want to put some of the things that belonged to my sister in it, so that they are safe from dust and I can see them clearly all the time. I found one easily. Although I was plenty tempted by some blue ones too. I actually liked the blue ones better, but I knew I wouldn't be able to see Teresa's things as well in one of them. So, I got the clear one. Then I found a cow bell! I've wanted a good, well used cow bell since I first moved out here! I may hang it outside and see if the wind is strong enough to make it move like a wind chime. Or I may just keep it near me and shake it when I feel the need to hear it's low sound.

They had several things I wanted today. I love furniture and if I had a large house, it would be filled with all kinds of odd little pieces. Both of these dressers caught my eye, even though they are very different. They also had some lovely small white dressers! I could just picture a couple of them sitting side by side. I loved the typewriter and the shelf it was setting on. All of those turquoise-y looking things just made me drool. They weren't quite blue enough to make me pull out my wallet right then and there, but I am thinking on it. I've lived here 20 years. I'm ready for a change.

Days 7, 8 and 9 of 29 Gifts in 29 Days

2010-07-27T17:34:00.003-05:00

You may have noticed that I've posted a lot lately. I haven't posted about my "gives" though. So, I'm catching up now.

Day 7 - My gift for today was extra prayers for my friend Yvette. She was competing in an Ironman competition in Switzerland on Sunday. She is my hero. I met Yvette through my "quilting friends" retreat and email group. We've actually seen each other in person only a handful of times over the decade or so that we've known each other, but I tell you, she is someone I truly admire. Several times a year, she competes in 1/2 marathons, marathons, 100 mile bike rides and, or Ironman competitions and all of it is to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Yvette is amazing!

Day 8 and 9 - I wrote notes to my 6 aunts and added school photos of my granddaughters to each. I also emailed 4 cousins to see if they would like to have small items that had belonged to my sister. I mailed a small gift of tea to my son that I had purchased last week.

The good things that have happened during these days: I made it home from running errands before a storm started! I got to visit with all four of the cousins through email. I hadn't talked to them in at least a couple of months. And my dentist's office called today to see if I wanted to take a cancellation tomorrow. I've had to cancel a lot of my doctor appointments over the last 8 months or so because my hubby had been laid off, then we had no insurance for a while with the new job and then I was out of state for more than 3 months. It will be good to get that started back on track.

Things I Love This Summer

2010-07-26T18:53:00.007-05:00

I have a lot of blogs that I check in on. I check on the ones listed to the right of my blog when they are updated, but I have a very long list of blogs in a favorites folder that I check on every other week or so. There are so many wonderful blogs out there! Hula Seventy is one of the ones I check on occasionally. I came across a posting on her blog with a list. I love lists. I make lists all the time. I can't seem to help myself. I can't seem to stop making lists. Then I noticed that at the end of her posting it said something about "52 lists". Fifty two lists! Wow! The thought just made me happy. I had to start reading what she had so far. When I got to her list of 100 things that she loves, I realized that I needed to stop and make a list myself. Here are 100 things I love this Summer:

1. star filled nights
2. cicada music
3. the smell of lavender soap
4. fresh rosemary
5. lightning bugs
6. sudoku puzzles
7. magazines
8. downloading one song instead of having to buy the whole CD
9. wearing my sister's jewelry
10. tiny white lights
11. honeysuckle
12. all the sounds that fill the night air
13. home made ice cream
14. summer fruits
15. hugs
16. watching kids blow soap bubbles
17. blowing bubbles with the kids
18. bookstores
19. turquoise blue
20. white furniture
21. watching the Texas Rangers play baseball
22. batik fabrics
23. ice cream sandwiches
24. spending time with extended family
25. getting a letter in the mail
26. seeing friends
27. quilt retreats
28. old photos
29. postage stamps
30. greeting cards
31. pink envelopes
32. eating sunflower seeds
33. fresh cut flowers in the house
34. a dark movie theater on a hot day
35. spending time with my sweet momma
36. hearing my grandson say "gramma"
37. talking to my grandkids
38. hearing the laughter of children
39. the smell of watermelon
40. puffy clouds that you can see shapes in
41. people watching
42. reading a really good book
43. getting a call from my son
44. polka dots on just about anything
45. quilts
46. comfy blue jeans
47. the sound of chickens clucking
48. rain on a metal roof
49. a good rocking chair
50. a fresh tomato right from the garden
51. music that makes me want to dance
52. little bitty cowboy boots
53. B's self-confidence
54. That my son and his kids are in OK now instead of CA
55. blank books
56. acrylic paints
57. shooting stars
58. holding little hands
59. sticky kisses
60. puppy breath
61. hearing a great new song that I immediately want to download that first time I hear it
62. frogs and toads
63. porch swings
64. smores
65. fruit pie
66. home made peach jam
67. hearing "I love you"
68. the United States flag and the Texas flag
69. seeing the Texas state line when I'm driving back into the state
70. yelling "yahoo" at the top of my lungs when I do see the state line
71. bird song
72. smiles
73. a really cold coca-cola
74. the moments that take my breath away
75. antique roses
76. antique shops
77. religious beads
78. glass bowls
79. heart shaped rocks
80. country music
81. oldies (50's and 60's) music
82. little bowls
83. hummingbirds
84. frozen margaritas
85. sunsets
86. cool morning air
87. Sunday afternoon naps
88. grilled salmon
89. birdbaths
90. wind chimes
91. sleeping in my own bed
92. road trips
93. address labels
94. old sewing machines
95. thimbles
96. shade trees
97. old mirrors
98. sigg water bottles
99. ceiling fans
100. my GPS

Now, I'm Really B-A-D!!

2010-07-25T22:46:00.004-05:00

I heard this song the other day and it made me laugh out loud! Every time I hear it, I am flat delighted. And the "B-A-D" part is that I think of a particular person when I hear this song. I think of someone I thought I had forgiven. I guess I have some more work to do on that particular subject. Until then, K -- this song is dedicated to you......Everyone else -- enjoy!

There is another version of the video out. In the other video, the woman is, ah, shall we say "getting even" with the man. Maybe I should have put that video on my blog. I don't know. I just know that I like the song.

Ohhh, I'm bad, bad

2010-07-25T17:11:00.006-05:00

That's what my oldest granddaughter used to say when she was first learning to talk. She'd say something was "bad, bad" instead of just "bad". I love watching the -- dare I say it -- tweens -- my granddaughters are turning into, but I sure miss the little ones they used to be. I can do so much more with them now and talk to them about so many things, but I miss hearing the precious things that came out of their little mouths as they learned about their world. It's just not the same as they get older. My middle grandchild, #2 can still just knock me over with laughter with the things that fly out of her mouth and I do believe she will always be that way. So, in some ways I won't totally lose that wonder, I guess. And little JT is still quite young in many ways. Fun times at all ages.

Anyway, the reason that I am indeed "bad, bad" is that I'm probably going to keep a couple of the jewelry pieces of my sister's that I had originally intended to give to my sweet cousins. I just don't know that I'll be able to part with them. They are funky and fun. They'll make me think of Teresa and remind me of the things we had in common when so much of our lives were spent in conflict with each other. I try really hard not to think of the wasted years we spent angry with each other over stupid things that meant so little in the long run, but today, for some reason I seem to be dwelling on it. I'm extremely grateful that we made up and became very close to each other, years before she died. I don't think I'd be able to handle this at all if we had not. It's so very hard at times, even with that comforting knowledge.

I picked out the earrings, the ring and the silver colored bracelet for myself to begin with. The bracelet says "With God, All Things Are Possible" all around it. The saying is similar to Teresa's favorite bible verse. So, it will always make me think of her. I've had the ring and bracelet on almost nonstop since I picked them out. Teresa and I were both very interested in learning more about making funky jewelry and about natural stones. I love the charm bracelet that is made from an old men's watch band. What a cool idea! It's tight on me, but I am ever hopeful that I'll lose weight and be able to wear it. I love the red stone bracelet too, it's just not that easy to put on myself. Maybe I haven't learned the trick yet. The other one just wasn't comfortable at all on me.

I've emailed the first cousin to give her a choice in the other bracelet and a cup and saucer. Whatever she doesn't pick will be offered to one of her sisters along with a very shallow bowl. After she picks, I'll see if the last sister wants something and if she does, she gets what is left or I may offer it to Mike. I wish I had thought to get Mike something on his own. Maybe on my next trip down, if there is anything left.

Let's just have a little Chat today....

2010-07-25T16:25:00.009-05:00

....and maybe catch up on a few things. First, do you remember me telling you about those horrible, scary, huge crows that they had in CA? Well, I managed to get a photo of one in a nest. Just look at this nest! It's huge. Remember, this is a crow nest. You can enlarge the photo by clicking on it and see it better. I had to take it from my son's back yard and this was in the back yard of a neighbor. The nest is built on the cover for the patio and I honestly can't tell if it's a parent bird or a baby in the nest. I never saw it fly while I was out there. So, it may have been a mother sitting on eggs. Now, to give you some idea of how big those birds are, look at the sticks that the nest is built with. Those are not "twigs". Those suckers are "branches"! When the photo is enlarged you can see them hanging down under the patio covering. I'm telling you these birds would challenge cars. Never seen anything like it in TX.

Next I have a couple of photos of my son trimming branches off of a mighty pine tree in the back yard there in CA. I wish he had something that shady in his yard in OK. There is no shade at all there for the kids to get out of the heat. It was a beautiful tree. I sure do miss it.

I added photos to the post about my car being vandalized. If you want to see them, click here. I sure have enjoyed driving PTunia again since I've been home. I love my little car. Although I'll have to admit, I am thinking of getting a different vanity license plate. I have to check to see if anything is available in what I'm wanting to say now though. At this point, my hubby and son neither one want to be seen in my car with it's quilting related plate. That does have some advantages, but I'd like for them to drive it when it needs to be driven. That is only one reason for the new tag thoughts though.

Days 5 and 6 of 29 days of gifts in 29 days

2010-07-24T19:43:00.006-05:00

Do you think I'm bragging about my giving? I promise you that I'm not posting about the gifts to brag in any way. There is a website for posting about the giving and we are encouraged to share our stories of the giving there. I thought by sharing the stories here also, that I might encourage someone else to start their own 29 day challenge. That is my sole motivation for posting about it here. More than likely, I will continue to participate in this giving for more than one cycle, but I doubt that I will post about it daily here after the first round.

Day 5 -- I have wanted chickens on my place for years. We would have to keep them penned up or they'd become expensive food for the wildlife around here though and now we have a chicken eating dog too. So, I may never get to own chickens myself. But yesterday I realized I could buy chickens for someone else through Heifer International! Heifer is one of those organizations that I believe is truly wonderful! I've wanted to donate to them for a very long time, but I always want to pick an animal I can't afford and I never will settle for something I can. Well, I can afford chickens, so I just jumped in. The family who gets the chickens will be taught how to care for and raise them properly. When the chickens have offspring, they will give some of them to neighbors and teach them how to care for and raise them also. Those neighbors will then pass the gift along when their chickens have offspring. It's a gift that eventually helps a whole community.

Day 6 -- Today, I wanted to help my friend Yvette. She is an amazing woman! She competes in triathlons and runs marathons to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. In fact, I think she's even participated in a 100 mile bike ride! The things Yvette does to raise money for this organization are just amazing to me! I've never asked her why she does it. I do know that the grandchild of a friend fought Leukemia (and won!), but I don't know if that is what inspired her. Since she began this, one other grandchild of a mutual friend has fought Leukemia and won and the husband of a mutual friend fought and lost his battle with the disease. As I write this, Yvette is in Switzerland. She'll be starting an Ironman race that will last 16 hours! It starts at 11 p.m. tonight Central time and ends at 4 p.m. tomorrow afternoon Central Time. This is 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. Swiss time. I will be praying for her strength and endurance, but I have also donated money to her next endeavor. Yes, she's already planning and raising money for her next event. I sure wish I had some photos to share with you of these things. Take care.

Day 4 of 29 Gifts in 29 Days

2010-07-22T22:02:00.004-05:00

I gave several gifts today. Some without really thinking about them and a few without the proper feeling in my heart at the time I gave. I'm not going to even tell about them. So, on to the ones I'll share....I gave one out of sheer joy and that was a $20 tip at Cracker Barrel restaurant. Our young waitress was a good, attentive waitress and she was also training someone new. I've always wanted to leave a large tip. This is not as large as I would have liked to leave, but I only had a twenty and three ones in my wallet. I used my debit card to pay for the meal for my momma and myself. We were traveling home from my brother-in-law's house. I loved treating momma to lunch too. When we got home, I made up my hubby's coffee pot for him. I don't know if he's noticed yet, but I'm hoping that he's pleasantly surprised when he does.

Hubby surprised me by finding a way to repair my old ipod! I didn't know where I had put it and looked around in the places I would have put it if I had put it away properly. It wasn't there. Then I glanced over toward the TV and there it was! Hubby is charging the battery now and will be repairing it soon. I'll be able to use it again in no time! Hurray!

Home and Updates

2010-07-22T20:20:00.003-05:00

I had expected this visit south to be heart wrenching. It wasn't. Mostly is was a good visit with family -- my momma, my niece B, my nephews R and S and my brother-in-law Jay.

Mom and I did pick out some things of my sister's to bring home with us. Our main project, if you could call it that, turned out to be to make sure Teresa's kids picked out things they wanted to be sure to keep. Things that were in the areas that were going to be worked on next week. Things that Teresa had owned and used herself or had purchased to sell again in the shop she hoped to have one day. My sister had quite an eye for treasures in junk shops and yard sales. I really wish I had been lucky enough to go on treasure hunts with her. I never got to really. I mean we did go to a Habitat for Humanity shop a couple of times and I bought a lot of great things there. I'm sure she did too, but I never got to go to yard sales with her and I think that's where she may have really shined.

We were there a couple of days. We talked, we laughed -- a lot, we ate some. It was good. I hope I don't have to wait so long to see them again. It is really good to be home though. I have lots of cleaning plans for my own home. Hopefully they will work out.

Day 3 of 29 Gifts in 29 Days

2010-07-21T15:23:00.004-05:00

My mom and I are still down at my brother-in-law's house. This morning, first thing, I saw the opportunity to gift my momma with not having to pick up her bedding from the living room. I cleaned up my own bedding first and then folded up momma's bedding before she noticed. She was surprised and pleased when she started to get up to take care of it.

Later, my niece B was talking about her cruise that she'll be going on next month with friends and she mentioned that she didn't have flip-flops to take with her. This is not the first time I had heard her say it, but I felt the urge to gift her the money for them this time. I had set aside $10 for something to be gifted on this trip south, so I got my purse and handed it to her. She was quite thrilled. If she has anything left, maybe she'll get lucky and find a floppy hat too.

Seconds after I gave the money to B, I looked into my purse for something else and discovered two safety deposit keys that I thought I had lost! I looked all through my purse yesterday for them and could not find either of them. I almost cried from the sheer joy of knowing I wouldn't have to have the safe boxes re-drilled!

Day 2 -- 29 Girfts in 29 Days

2010-07-20T22:23:00.003-05:00

Today's gifts have been simple and from the heart. I bought my son two types of tea that I'll be sending him when I return home. He's recently been drinking hot tea. Things like chamomile blends to help him relax. I found a couple of organic flavors that are for stress relief and relaxation that I thought he might like to try, so I got them both. I also treated my momma to a strawberry banana smoothie drink thing from Starbucks. I bought myself a bar of lavender soap and later bought a book and two purses. They were on sale, 2 for the price of one. I've never had 2 purses that I could use for everyday before. I bought the gifts today, even the ones for myself, with joy and love.

Momma came with me down to my brother-in-law's place. She wanted to buy the gas on the way down. That was a generous gift to me. Another couple of good things also happened. I was driving just a tiny bit faster than the law allows (5 - 6 mph) and I passed a police officer and a highway patrol car, both with radar set up and neither stopped me. I did decide not to push my luck and I slowed down after that though. My brother-in-law also bought me dinner. I wanted to pitch in, but he wouldn't take my money.

Full of Love

2010-07-20T08:29:00.004-05:00

I'm about to head down to my brother-in-law's place to go through my sister's belongings before any are sold and help with them if I can. Not going to be an easy few days for me, or any of us, I'm sure. I still have trouble grasping the concept that my sister is even gone. Truly gone. I miss her so very much. It's still a physical pain for me -- when I allow myself to really think about Teresa and her not being on this earth with us any longer. So, today before I leave, I wanted to post the photo of my heart rocks. I purchased them. They were found on the shore. Shaped by the sea. I love them. The heart shape symbolizes love and what can be more fascinating than a sturdy rock beat by the sea into the shape of a rock. Today it will remind me to act out of love. And I will also try to keep joy in my heart. Take care.

Day 1 of 29 Gifts in 29 Days

2010-07-19T22:53:00.002-05:00

For my first day of 29 Gifts in 29 Days, I first told my friend Catherine about the movement. I'm hoping she'll join me in doing this. I wish all of my friends would, actually, and all of my family. I'd love to compare ideas for giving and see if good things come into their lives during the 29 days.

Later, I hand wrote a letter to an old friend and two thank you letters. All of which were really over due, but couldn't be done, for one reason or another, until today. It felt so good to tell these three women how I felt. They are all a blessing in my life. I truly feel that a letter in the mailbox is a gift nowadays, but a handwritten letter is very special indeed. They are hard for me to write because my hand starts to hurt, but I just kept thinking of love and gratitude the whole time and rested my hand when I needed to.

Then, around dinner time, I made up the coffee pot for my husband tomorrow. I do this often, but I often resent it. I don't drink coffee and even though it doesn't take all that much of my "precious" time, I really don't like to do it. Today, I did it with gratitude in my heart because he was working for "us" and he had washed the dishes and clothes while I was at our son's and grandchildren's house. So, I wanted to show him that I appreciated what he had done and does do. I know he will appreciate it when he wakes up tomorrow afternoon. He works nights, you see. I feel good. Talk to you soon.

Sissy Dog

2010-07-19T09:53:00.004-05:00

Sissy is my son's and grandchildren's dog. My son got Sissy for M before #1 was born. She may have been a Christmas gift, I can't really remember. She's a miniature pincher or minpin and is brown and tan. When she first came to live with them, she was smaller than a Coke can. M never had Sissy spayed. She had planned to breed her. I was totally against this. First of all there are way too many unwanted dogs in this world. Second, Sissy is really funny looking! No one with any sense would pay to have her or a puppy of hers. Oh, sorry son. I think you paid for her didn't you? Yikes! We'll she is a very sweet little dog. Anyway, Sissy has one ear on top of her head and one on the side! It's just hilarious looking! But you don't have to try to imagine for yourself, here are the photos to prove it.....

A Little More for Today

2010-07-18T19:40:00.007-05:00

I finally uploaded my photos onto the computer from my camera. These were photos that I've had in there since Quilt Celebration in mid-March. Looking through them reminded me of several things that I had wanted to write about. Unfortunately, life kept me from actually writing about almost all of it. So, I'll be playing catch-up over the next few weeks.

One thing I want to mention right now is a movement I plan to participate in. It's called 29 Gifts in 29 Days. I first wrote about it in this posting, if you'd like to read about where the idea came to me from, just click on the link.

I now have the book written by Cami and I started reading it last night when I got home. I'm a little more than half way through it. Cami started this because of her health problems. I want to start it to get my focus off of my life. There has been constant upheaval in my life for well over a year now. I don't feel that I've truly gotten to handle each thing as it has come up. I may never get to, but right now, I want to concentrate on other things besides me.

I'm Home for a few Days

2010-07-18T16:42:00.010-05:00

I came home a couple of days earlier than I had originally planned when I left home. My son managed to get the kids enrolled in daycare earlier than I had expected. Mostly due to the fact that Angie got the paperwork she needed to sign early on Wednesday morning and was able to send it back out to us the same day. We got the paperwork on Thursday and he enrolled the kids on Friday. They start tomorrow. So many changes in all of their lives!

My son bought his new car too. I forgot to take a photo of it, but I will next time. It's a Hyundai Tucson and I am in love with it! I tried to get him to switch cars with me, but for some reason, he just wouldn't go for it. Wonders never cease!

On Friday, son, the kids and I went out to eat burgers. You may know (or remember) that I am allergic to beef, which gives me migraines and makes me itch, so I haven't had a beef hamburger since I discovered this almost 2 years ago. I was really craving a burger and had decided that we'd just go somewhere that served bison on Friday night. Well, it wasn't as easy to find as I thought it would be. But I did find a place called Irma’s Burger Shack in OK City that served beef that had been raised naturally with no pesticides, hormones or other stuff added. It comes from a small private heard at the No Name Ranch right there in OK. I'd been thinking for a while that it is really the things that have been added to beef that I may actually be allergic to and not the beef itself. So, I decided to chance it and try a "no name" burger. The last time I ate beef, I had a migraine within 30 minutes and was itching all over my body within 15 minutes. I ate the "no name" burger at Irma's and didn't realize until we were home that I was having no symptoms at all! I didn't even get a migraine the next day, which was possible also.

Friday night, after our burger dinner, the girls and I baked 22 cupcakes for #2's 8th birthday the next day. It was after 9:30 PM when they came out of the oven, so we waited until morning to frost them. Originally, #2 wanted strawberry frosting on chocolate cupcakes. Her sister, #1, said she didn't like strawberry, so #2 changed the frosting to red, white and blue. Now, I didn't quite understand how #1 didn't like strawberry since she'll practically knock you down to get to eat fresh strawberries when they are in the house, but I have a few oddities myself, so OK. The next morning we divided the frosting into three bowls and added food coloring into two of them -- attempting to make red and blue frosting. We did get a light blue, but never added quite enough red food coloring to make red. We ended up with pink as you can see by the photos. The cupcakes were then topped off with chocolate sprinkles.

Number 2's party was going to be held in a park, at noon, outside, in the hot. And I do mean HOT. So, I asked permission to skip the party and go on home. Everything I had come up to do was done. I was ready to go and let this little family get used to being on their own. I think they were really pretty ready too.

A LIttle Good News

2010-07-15T18:58:00.007-05:00

PTunia has new driver's side glass.

I have a new GPS, even though it was not covered by my insurance (it had to be permanently affixed to the car to be covered), I am happy to have it. Just being able to get around a new area will be worth the cost to me and ease my mind. I will probably have to invest in a larger purse though. I don't think it will fit in the one I have.

My son got the paperwork that he needed to get the kids into daycare. Being a single parent, in the military, he had to have written prof of his back up system should he be deployed. He couldn't even get his kids into daycare without it, which is why I had to come up this week. Now, he has it. Proof of the three people who are willing and able to step up and step in if the need arises. Hopefully, he'll have them in some sort of daycare situation tomorrow and I'll be free to leave after CL's birthday on Saturday.

My son is, as I write this, out shopping for a new car. I have no real idea of what he's looking for other than a car that at least 5 people can fit into, is dependable and has room for all of the junk that 3 kids and a dog require when traveling. The Impala felt more than a little crowded on the way here from CA. I wish him luck. Until next time, take care.

Yet Another One

2010-07-14T17:38:00.005-05:00

My son's car died for the LAST time yesterday afternoon. If he decided to repair it again, it would be the third time since mid-May. Plus he had paid to have it gone over and some repairs done in preparation of the drive to TX before the break downs even started! Throwing good money after a bad car has to end at some point. That's not to say that it's always been a bad car. "Sweetie" has been a pretty good car for a good long time actually. They got this car pretty soon after they got married 11 years ago. I think that's a pretty good life span for a car nowadays, myself.

So, the car shopping has started and my poor little broken windowed car is the one in use until one is found. Speaking of my car (who is fondly named PTunia), she will get her window repaired tomorrow. I will also get my new GPS tomorrow. All will be right with my world again, pretty much.

Saturday is CL's 8th birthday. There should be good news and fun photos on the horizon for you all. Until next time, take care.

Headaches of a Different Kind

2010-07-13T07:55:00.005-05:00

I have one of those built in anti-theft alarms on my little PT Cruiser. I've always thought that was really cool. It lowered my insurance rates a bit and gave me an added bit of peace of mind. Well, I found out last night that that peace of mind only works if they actually attempt to open the door of the car! If they smash in a driver's side window, for instance, the alarm just sits there silent. A fat lot of good that does when they smash, grab and run! So, today I have lots of glass to clean up, a car window to replace, an insurance agent to call, a police report to make (in all likelihood), I'll have to take my car to the dealership with all these grandkids in tow and I no longer have a GPS to help me find the place!

I'm sure I had taken it off the window. I'm not sure I had unplugged it. Unfortunately, I did leave it in the car. The car was parked on the street to make it easier for my son to get in and out of the garage for work. We think one of the neighbors did it.

The silver lining to all of this is that even though moving is a pain in the butt, my son is even more determined to move on base. I am happy about that. Maybe we should just pack some of this stuff back up until they get there.

Totally Hot and a Migraine or Two

2010-07-11T13:08:00.005-05:00

We made it to OK City and beyond with no real problems. I had been concerned about the drive since it was supposed to be so hot and there had been construction when my son drove it, making the drive very long for little kids and dogs. As it turned out, we were able to make a quick pit stop at Quilt Country in Lewisville for a potty break while it was still early and cool. The dog did fine for the short time we were in the shop.

After that, we drove pretty much straight through. There was rain along the way, which kept the temperatures down and the construction stopped. There were a couple of minor accidents. One of which had me concerned that we would literally run out of gas on the highway, but we didn't. Our prayers were answered when the accident cleared by the next exit and there was a gas station there also. My GPS took us straight to the new house and my son had just gotten home, so all were happy! It took us almost 5 hours to get there. I was hoping it wouldn't take that long, but was happy it didn't take longer.

Saturday, most of the cable, Internet and phone service was hooked up. They'll have to come back to finish up on an early morning to do some attic work. There is still a lot of putting away to do and some organizing also. The house is about the same size as their last one, but there is less storage. So, we'll have to get creative and do some things different here.

The only real complaint that I have is that there is no ceiling fan in the girls bedroom. And baby it is HOT in there at night. Nights are hot for a woman of a certain age anyway and I do believe that I am a woman of a certain age. I've offered to buy the ceiling fan and pay to have it installed, I'm so desperate for a night's sleep! Of course my son has to check with the landlord and the handyman about all of this first. I'm sleeping on the couch in the living room tonight. I know that much for sure.

For some reason, I've had one migraine since I've been here and feel that another is just looming ready to pounce any second. I don't know what has caused it and don't know what to do to prevent it. I have a horrible feeling that it could be the neighborhood (some weed we don't have at home) or the house itself (maybe the lovely newly painted walls). If that is the case, I'm in real trouble.

A couple of things have happened that I wanted to mention since I've been here. I had stopped to pick up my mail before I left and was surprised to get a lovely, sweet card from Tracey. She sent it to me as her "building a bridge of love" act for the Dalai Lama's birthday a few days ago! Thank you Tracey! It was such a nice surprise. I first met Tracey when I was "assigned" to her by Se'lah in the gift of jewels post card swap over at the Necessary Room back in February. Tracey has been so sweet to me and has contacted me several times since then. I had lost her address while in CA. Hopefully, now that things have calmed down some, I'll be able to keep in touch with her.

The other thing I wanted to tell you is that I had bid on 4 quilts in the mini auction to benefit the North TX Food Bank that was being held through Quilt Country. I lost out on all 4 of them! My friend Sandy got 3 of the ones I wanted that were made with the theme "hunger". So, I'll just have a make a donation to the food bank myself and one to the East TX Food Bank also. (I'll come back later and add more links to this post.)

On the Road Again

2010-07-08T22:56:00.005-05:00

I'm hitting the road Friday morning to take my grandkids and their dog to their new home in OK. The furniture was delivered today. The Internet will be hooked up on Saturday morning. They've had a good visit with their Aunt Angie, their other grandparents and other aunts, uncles and cousins. But, it's time to go home. They miss their dad and their dad misses them.

Now, when my son first drove from here to OK, it took him an unbelievable 6 hours! This should be a 4 hour drive, maximum, but there was construction all along the route. I am quite concerned about this for the drive tomorrow. It's too hot to leave a dog in a car while you take three kids into a restaurant for a potty break. I can't think of one restaurant that will let you bring a dog in for the potty break. I don't know of one young kid that can "hold it" for an unbelievable 6 hours! And last, but not least, I'm not comfortable sending three kids, ages 6 - 9, into a restaurant by themselves for a potty break. I'm thinking of taking a coffee can and toilet paper and having them pee along the highway between the car doors with me standing in front of them. I'll let you know how it goes.

A Call from Beth

2010-07-07T10:55:00.003-05:00

My friend Beth called this morning. She lives in TN now, much to my dismay. She asked what the doctor had said about my arm. I gave her the run down. After hearing the news on my latest injury, she started to kid me a bit about how it happened. Then she asked how I was feeling and if I was rested. She and I had talked several times when I was in CA and feeling overwhelmed. I told her that I was feeling good and that I was just frustrated not to be able to do anything yet because of the arm. She said that my injury was God's way of making me rest more. That He didn't think I had rested enough yet. I joked a little about Him telling me to go ahead and try to step over that gas hose, but what she said makes a little sense. Forced rest is not something I do well, but I'm going to try to take it as something that I need and that it happened for a reason. Even if I can't see it like that all the time.

Now, writing on the blog doesn't hurt a whole lot, but I do feel an occasional pull in my arm when I am on the computer. So, I may not be on here as much as I had planned to be over the next week or so. I'll be back as soon as I can. Until then, take care.

Happy 75th Birthday Dalai Lama

2010-07-06T09:33:00.004-05:00

So many ideas have run through my head for my random act of kindness to celebrate the Dalai Lama's 75th birthday today and build a bridge of love with Se'lah at the Necessary Room blog. Unfortunately most of my day was taken up at the doctor's office. I finally went in about my arm. I fell on June 25th while doing something stupid. Tip for the day, don't try to step over the gas hose while filling up your tank, even if you think you can do it, it's not worth it if you don't. I've managed it in the past, but this gas pump was elevated several inches on a cement stand for some reason and that is all it took for me to take a header and land on my elbow! Excruciating pain ensued. Of course this happened late afternoon on a Friday. I only briefly thought it was broken, so I decided to wait to go to the dr. until the next week. By then it was so much better that I felt I was doing everything right and just needed to continue. Over the weekend, I hurt it again -- a couple of times, so today I headed in. I have a severely bruised deltoid muscle. I am not to use the arm in any way that makes it hurt for at least a week to ten days. Now, I'm trying to figure out how to drive to OK this weekend, because driving definitely hurts!

So, after I get out of the doctor's office, I realize I'm starving - it's after one PM and I haven't had breakfast much less lunch -- so I decide to drive through to get a burrito. I'm in the Taco Bell drive through when I realize that someone just pulled in behind me. Yippee! When I pay for my food, I ask the young lady if she would tell me the total of the folks behind me because I would like to pay for them too. I told her I was doing it in celebration of the Dalai Lama's birthday and to please tell the folks to have a great day for me. I do believe she thought I was nuts, but she let me pay their tab, the whole while smiling a little oddly. I hope they got a kick out of it.

Description

NEW YORK - MAY 20: The Dalai Lama bows before the start of a press conference at Radio City Music Hall during a break between teachings May 20, 2010 in New York City. The Tibetan spiritual leader will deliver three days of teachings at Radio City followed by an interfaith dialogue at the Church of St. John the Divine on Sunday. (Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images)
Content © 2010 Getty Images All rights reserved.

Did you do anything to celebrate the Dalai Lama's birthday today?

Leaping Lizards

2010-07-05T20:19:00.002-05:00

I didn't know how to add video from youtube until the last posting. That gave the the idea of sharing my very favorite video with you. This is one from a local Dallas station, channel 5 KXAS which is an NBC station. It happened years ago. Unfortunately, I don't remember the newscaster's name. I'm pretty sure it happened on either an early morning show or a Saturday show. I wish I had seen it live when it happened. I've seen the video so often that it almost feels like I did see it live! If you don't laugh at this (I do every single time I see it!) your funny bone is broken!

From my Friend Jan and YouTube

2010-07-05T20:02:00.001-05:00

I Fought for You

I had to wipe the tears away.

Happy 4th of July!

2010-07-04T14:28:00.006-05:00

Our 4th of July celebration has not gone as planned this year. Our son was not able to make it down from OK because of heavy rain. He was concerned he'd get stuck here and not be able to make it back to the base in time Monday. So, he turned around yesterday and went back. Turned out to be a good thing. His dad is sick and upchucking. Would not have wanted him or the grandkids to get sick. So, our celebration has turned into a quiet weekend of reflection. Never a bad thing.

I didn't have any photos worthy of the 4th of July. So, I went online and started to look for free photos to use. I came across Picapp and this photo really touched me. After all, if it were not for the military, both past and present we would not live in a free country. I am so very grateful to each and every person who has served in the military and who is serving now. I'm grateful for their sacrifice. I'm grateful for the sacrifices of their families also. Thank you to each and every one of you.

BAGHDAD, IRAQ - JULY 4: (L-R) U.S. Army Specialist Jason Horner from Paulsboro, New Jersey, Specialist Anthony Johnson from Madison, Missouri and Corporal Jason Hughes from Marysville, California, of the 1st Armored Division color guard, stand during a casing of the colors ceremony July 4, 2004 in Baghdad, Iraq. As America celebrates the 4th of July, many soldiers in Iraq continue their work. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)
Content © 2010 Getty Images All rights reserved

I hope that you are having a wonderful 4th of July and celebrating in exactly the way you want to. I hope that you also take just a few moments to reflect on the reason for this holiday and the sacrifices made for you. We'll visit again soon. Take care.

Kindness

2010-07-03T21:31:00.008-05:00

I'll admit it, I'm a little lost right now. I want to be super happy and blogging every day about happy things. I want to have fabulous photos on every post too, but the fact of the matter is that I'm nursing a injured arm (I fell on my 3rd day back home and hurt it), my house is filthy (which zaps my energy and I can't even clean it because of the arm!), I have not mourned my sister's death (and now that I've put her loss in that little locked "box" in my heart -- how do I get it out so that I can grieve properly? -- maybe I need to go back to therapy) and I'm still tired from all I've been through over the last three months. Heck, I'm tired from all I've been through over the last 10 months. Maybe even longer. It doesn't seem like I've had the time to deal with any of it properly. I've tried to deal with each thing as it came up, but something else came up before I could finish and the first thing would get shoved into the "box" and never brought back out. This is a defence mechanism I learned as a very young child when I was being molested by an uncle by marriage. I'm very good at blocking things. Very good at it. Such is life. Sometimes it just flat sucks.

Life is hard, but it is worth the work it takes to be happy. I should tell you right now, and in no uncertain terms, that I am not unhappy. The arm is getting me a little down because I had lots of plans for when I got home and I am disappointed to have to postpone them. I wanted to super clean my home. I wanted to start and finish several quilts. I had lots of plans! Unfortunately, I can't do them right now. So, on to plan B.

What is plan B? Do I even have a plan B? Well, I didn't until tonight although it started forming a couple of days ago when I read a posting on the blog Necessary Room. Se'lah wants to "build a bridge of love" to celebrate the Dalai Lama's 75th birthday by doing random acts of kindness on Tuesday July 6th, which just happens to be the birthday of which we are speaking. Read her posting here and then look over her blog. Se'lah is a lovely woman and full of warmth. I'll be joining her for her random acts of kindness idea on Tuesday. I love random acts of kindness! They make me feel good. I can only hope they make the folks that I act upon feel as good.

photo taken from picapp. Here is the photo description.
WASHINGTON - FEBRUARY 19: The Dalai Lama participates in a ceremony after recieving the Democracy Service Medal at the Library of Congress on Febru,ary 19, 2010 in Washington, DC. The medal was created by the National Endowment for Democracy and has been presented to a wide range of individuals who have demonstrated through personal commitment, their dedication to the advancement of freedom and human rights. (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)
Content © 2010 Getty Images All rights reserved.

Then earlier tonight I came across a post in the Bayou Quilts blog when I was catching up on blogs I missed reading while in CA. Her blog posting is titled A Kindness Revolution and is about giving 29 gifts in 29 days. Here is an article about it also. The article and blog posting are about Cami Walker, who at age 33 was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. She was prescribed the 29 gifts in 29 days by an African medicine woman named Mbali Creazzo to help her through some of her more difficult symptoms. Cami has written a book about her experience -- 29 Gifts looks to be worth the read and I am definitely going to order it after I finish this post.

I went to the book link on Amazon and read all it would let me read about the book. All I can say after doing so is that I am in! I'll do it. I look forward to the challenge of 29 straight days of gifts to others. I won't start this until after Tuesday. I'll blog about it again the day before I start and I'd love for you to join me! I also plan to blog about each gift each day and any benefits I get from the gift I give. Now, I'm going to go check out the 29 gifts website. We'll visit again soon. Take care.